Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Maybe this is different because this guy is not my son's father but how do you feel about your children compared to your SO? This might make more sense since I am not really sure how to ask this question, if you read my details.

My boyfriend is so jealous of the love I have for my son... my son is from a different man who no longer has rights. My son is my life and was 3 when I met my boyfriend so thats 3 years of just me and my son bonding and loving eachother. I told him one night that I was taking my son to the fireworks and he got upset, he told me that I care more about my son and revolve my life around him, that I would never do that for him. I was like "yeah, he is my baby and my life"

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 5:40 PM on Oct. 10, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (11)
  • Your So is selfish and immature if he thinks you should make your life all about him. You are a mommy which means your kids are your life. He needs to grow up and realize that once someone has a child then eveyone else is second to them.

    Answer by momie_of_munch2 at 5:46 PM on Oct. 10, 2009

  • I think your children should always come first. Your son depends on you for everything and your SO is a grown man. It sounds like your doing what is right, just keep on like u have been with your son being first and if he doesn't like it I would tell him to hit the road.

    Answer by BlainesMommy09 at 5:47 PM on Oct. 10, 2009

  • Get rid of him. If he can not accept the love you have for your son, and can not love your son as well, then he needs to go find someone without kids. Good job mommy for giving your son all your love and attention. Your bf needs to understand that the love you have for your son and for him are totally different. I hope its works out for you, if not..I'm positive there is a man out there for the two of you..who will appreciate the two of u..

    Answer by Anonymous at 6:02 PM on Oct. 10, 2009

  • I also have a 2 year old and a boyfriend who is not her father, and we also have a 4 month old that is ours daughter was 4months old when i met my SO and he doens't exactly get jealous but you gotta look at it like can love your SO and your son. It's a different kind of love for each. I love my daughter more than life itself as a mother and would do anything for her, but i also love my SO more than life itself and would do anything for him as well. He needs to know that you can love them both and you shouldn't have to love one more than the other...

    Answer by Anonymous at 6:06 PM on Oct. 10, 2009

  • Your child should come first, you are doing the right thing. If he cannot understand that, that should tell you that this may not last. A man that is so selfish and/or immature that he does not understand and support the fact that you put your child ahead of him is not a man you want in your life. I always tell men up front, like first date up front, that I have 2 kids and my kids will always come before them. If they show any signs of not being cool with that, I think long and hard before agreeing to a second date.

    Answer by tropicalmama at 6:47 PM on Oct. 10, 2009

  • I think you need to dump his ass. You know that he is already jealous of your child you don't want him to do anything to harm your baby or be mean to him to get back at you or anything. A real man would understand that children are helpless and NEED their parents where as your SO doesnt NEED you. Tell him to get over himself. You can love them both but DUHHHH take care of your baby first even if that means leaving ur worthless SO

    Answer by Anonymous at 6:57 PM on Oct. 10, 2009

  • If you are going to stay with your boyfriend you don't need to say things like that. It comes off as heartless. You should have enough compassion to make both of them feel special in your life.

    I have 3 sons. At different times each of them has been my favorite. Would it be right to tell one he is my favorite and then treat the others like you treat your boyfriend? It's my job to love them all.

    If you want your child to be your life and your life to revolve around him then you shouldn't be involved with men. I decided not to date because it made being a single mother much easier and I wanted my children to be my life.

    Answer by Gailll at 7:19 PM on Oct. 10, 2009

  • I had to divorce my last husband over that very thing. My dd's bf hates my grandson bc of it as well. Men can be so stupid thinking they can come between or even match the love a mother has for her child.

    Answer by admckenzie at 8:17 PM on Oct. 10, 2009

  • I couldn't agree more with anon 6:06
    You have room in your heart to love both just as much as the other, just in different ways. My step mother was soooo jealous like that and my father totally just let her win. It built up a lot of resentment towards that idiot that made up 1/2 my DNA and I was not even a little bit sad when my step mom died. Sorry if that sounds super bitchy. This is a problem that needs to be fixed now, or he needs to go. It's not healthy for him to try and take something like that away from your son! he needs his mommy!

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:24 PM on Oct. 10, 2009

  • me and my hubby have had this talk befor and both agree that we love the kid more then each his ex was like that and thought she should come first befor the kids.also u would never do what,take ur bf to the fireworks?tell him u gess he will never know until he hs a child of his own.u should habve told him that that childs life revoles around u,and ur his everything.let him know that both u and ur child love and care for him,and that he is the only father that baby knows.

    Answer by angelairelan at 11:14 PM on Oct. 10, 2009

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.