Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Children: close together or far apart?

This isn't a debate: I just want to hear experiences from other moms. Did you have your children close together or far apart? Did you plan it that way, or did it just happen that way? Would you do it differently if you had the chance? What do you like/dislike about it?

Please share! :)

Answer Question
 
aliceryannesmom

Asked by aliceryannesmom at 8:26 PM on Oct. 10, 2009 in General Parenting

Level 20 (8,465 Credits)
Answers (48)
  • I have a 3 year old son and a 2 year old daughter and I'm due any day now with our 3rd.  I like having mine close together in age.  My son and daughter are bestfriends and play well together.  BUT I also like that I waited for almost 2 years before having our 3rd and last child.  I needed time to adjust to having two toddlers running around.  The disadvantages would be that I don't feel like I've gotten enough quality time with them by themselves but once that gets taken care of, I won't have any other complaints.  Now that they are understanding more, it's easy to say "today I'm taking Jr. to such and such".  I'll take my daughter somewhere else where we can have alone time.  I'll do the same with this baby also.  I'm a stickler for private time with each of them, lol.

    Katrina3016

    Answer by Katrina3016 at 8:33 PM on Oct. 10, 2009

  • Damnit I messed up, lol.  Okay, this is what I've gotten worked out for the alone time with each of them seperately!  I'll take my son shopping one day, and my daughter and I will do something else the next day.  We do this on Saturday and Sunday.  The rest of the time, we take turns doing what each kid wants to do so that noone feels left out, lol.  I must be a bit tired because when I reread my previous statement, it made NO sense, lol.

    Katrina3016

    Answer by Katrina3016 at 8:35 PM on Oct. 10, 2009

  • We have ours VERY close together - not really intentionally. When this baby is due at the end of November we will have a 3 year old (47 months), 2 year old (31 months), and 1 year old (14 months). It can be absolutely crazy but the kids have SO much fun together. They are all at similar stages too. I am potty training all three. The oldest rarely has accidents, the middle one has an accident a day maybe, and the baby goes in the toilet about 75% of the time. I am doing preschool with the two oldest. The downside - everyone needs help all the time!!! I have to buckle everyone in to car seats, they all need help going potty, they all need bathed and gotten ready for bed! It can be a lot of redundant work. It is worth it though!!
    micheledo

    Answer by micheledo at 8:36 PM on Oct. 10, 2009

  • My dd are 14 months apart to the day. We knew we wanted them close, my sis and I are 10 months apart. My oldest is now 16 months and my youngest is 2 months. So far it has been wonderful. My 1st loves her sissy and doesnt get jealous at all. The only bad things about having them close is chasing the 1st while u are preggers and being sleep deprived, but i've gotten used to it
    SabrenaLeigh

    Answer by SabrenaLeigh at 8:36 PM on Oct. 10, 2009

  • My kids are 14 months apart. We did NOT plan either one of them. In fact we were taking precautions against pregnancy when I got pregnant... I do NOT reccommend it! If you really want more than one I suggest putting at the very least 3 years between them. My sister & I are 5 years apart. And if I could go back these 2 would be as well...
    SabrinaMBowen

    Answer by SabrinaMBowen at 8:42 PM on Oct. 10, 2009

  • I have 6 sons ages 21 to 4.
    21, 18, 11, 7, 6, 4.
    To me there really is no difference. I think there is more arguing and picking between the younger 3 that are close in age. They are territorial I guess would be a good word.
    We all get along pretty well. Everyone also has their own space if they need it but we are usually all in one room which some people would say that is odd.
    JLynn0871

    Answer by JLynn0871 at 8:42 PM on Oct. 10, 2009

  • I got pregnant with my 2nd when my 1st turned 1 and they are 22 months apart. I planned it that way (my sis and I alre 22 months apart too), I wanted them close. All I can say is in my case it worked out well for them (they are very close and have fun together - they are 11 and 13 now and still very close) but it was very hard for me when they were really little. I'd do it all over again though :)
    momrocks1000

    Answer by momrocks1000 at 8:42 PM on Oct. 10, 2009

  • We wanted our children about 2-2 1/2 yrs apart. We felt that was a good age difference.

    Our oldest two are 26 mths apart and it works well. They do well together(not perfectly but nicely LOL they are boys and they do fight LOL).
    My second and third are 19 mths apart. A little closer than intended because he was a surprise but its not bad either. My second child didnt want much to do with the youngest at first but now he's warming up to him and they get along well.

    Amaranth361

    Answer by Amaranth361 at 8:44 PM on Oct. 10, 2009

  • I have 3 kids that are close in age. 4 kids if you consider 3 1/2 years to be close in age (I don't). My kids are 9, 8, 7 (in a few weeks) and 3 1/2. There are 15 months and 13 months between the older 3 and they were all in diapers at one time. That was a pain but not as hard as people make it out to be. The hardest thing when they were little was just logistical, like getting them in and out of the car (or going anywhere for that matter...I never went alone with them, it was just too much to handle). They were almost 6, 4 1/2 and 3 1/2 when the youngest was born and I hated it. The only plus was they could help with the baby but otherwise I couldn't get back into "baby" mode. I also feel bad that she doesn't have a sibling close in age with her. She is alone a lot while they are at school.
    I preferred having them close together.
    justanotherjen

    Answer by justanotherjen at 8:47 PM on Oct. 10, 2009

  • Omg, I'm seeing this, and I just have to ask,how do having your babies so close affect your body,especially if,you had a c-section.I had my first 2,22 months apart,and I was so embarrassed,because I thought I was irresponsible,the next set of kids didn't come until 13 yrs. later,It does cause a certain wear and tear on your stomach muscles and bladder, I'm referring to c-sections.4 babies under 3,God bless you.

    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:48 PM on Oct. 10, 2009

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.
close Join now to connect to
other members!
Connect with Facebook or Sign Up Using Email

Already Joined? LOG IN