Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

I am so confused and worried....

In a nutshell, i am trying to find faith, i am attending a life with God class at my boyfriends church,(and my mom and stepdads too) but we live together(have for 2 1/2 years) so in my last class we talked about sin. We are both living in sin. he doesn't want me to talk to the pastor for fear of getting asked to leave(?) not sure what would happen. but i am confused, scared, and worried if i continue in this manner. i also have 3 kids(not his) that live with us. I don't know what to think! Any suggestions would be great!

Answer Question
 
My3RaysofSun

Asked by My3RaysofSun at 9:17 PM on Oct. 10, 2009 in Religion & Beliefs

Level 4 (36 Credits)
Answers (14)
  • So. Your boyfriend thinks being a hypocrite is better?

    Here's the thing about God. He forgives. EVERYTHING. You just need to ask. He's not too cool with folks who act the way your boyfriend is.

    If the church was to ask you to leave, might not be a church to be a part of.
    gdiamante

    Answer by gdiamante at 9:25 PM on Oct. 10, 2009

  • You know you could stop marital relations and get married.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:42 PM on Oct. 10, 2009

  • I agree with the first answer
    raurismomma07

    Answer by raurismomma07 at 9:46 PM on Oct. 10, 2009

  • I have been married before. It was awful. Except for the three kids that i have. I am not ready to get married. That piece of paper that costs so much? Please love should be free and feel right. Since I started this "finding God", i have never felt so much guilt. So i am not going to get married to end the guilt
    My3RaysofSun

    Answer by My3RaysofSun at 9:47 PM on Oct. 10, 2009

  • Something that people tend to forget is that in the days that the bible was written living together WAS marriage. If you have been living together for 2 years you are most likely under a common law marriage (here it's 18 months but some states it's up to 7 years). Either way, you shouldn't feel guilty. And if your pastor tells you to leave then you don't want to be a part of that church anyways. A relationship with God has nothing to do with church, religion or pastors opinions... It's about you and god. I'm not sure what they are teaching in that class but the only thing you need in order to live a life with god is the will to find and hold on to him.
    SabrinaMBowen

    Answer by SabrinaMBowen at 9:57 PM on Oct. 10, 2009

  • My guess is that the pastor already knows you are living together, so you can quit worrying there. Now there has been only one person who has not sinned and he died on the cross for us. I personally would ask my bf to go and talk to pastor with me. you are doing some things right (congrads) church together, stable life for your kids etc. When the time is right you will be secure in either living together or trying marriage again. Beleive me you are not the only sinner, in fact sinners are 100% in that church and in the world. Keep going to church with your family things will fall into place, I promise and more important God promises.

    higherboundmom

    Answer by higherboundmom at 10:05 PM on Oct. 10, 2009

  • I can't imagine being asked to leave the church, but I can imagine being asked to either stop shacking up, or get hitched.

    Anyway, I'll say this: I'm wary of a man that doesn't want his woman having heart to heart religious discussions with her religious leader.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:07 PM on Oct. 10, 2009

  • If these classes make you feel so bad then maybe this is the wrong church for you. My understanding of Christ's teachings is that people should feel that life is a gift, a chance for us to do our best and be grateful for His work in our lives. Faith should bring you peace and joy. If you're not getting that, I would look elsewhere.
    ecodani

    Answer by ecodani at 10:14 PM on Oct. 10, 2009

  • guilt is a gift from God. You are feeling guilt because God is talking to you.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:30 PM on Oct. 10, 2009

  • If you are feeling more guilt since beginning to pursue this church, could it simply not be the right church for you? I'm not saying you need a dramatic change of religion, but if your boyfriend prefers to lie to the pastor than be honest and you are feeling pressure about life choices that are not ones that should be made out of guilt, maybe you should look into another denomination, or even another church of the same denomination with another pastor. My feeling is that spirituality should feel like 'coming home'- not like assuming a mantle of guilt and shame.
    Freela

    Answer by Freela at 10:54 PM on Oct. 10, 2009

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.
close Join now to connect to
other members!
Connect with Facebook or Sign Up Using Email

Already Joined? LOG IN