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For those of you that have had a husband that cheated!

This question i for you ONLY, IF YOU didnt divorce. I do not care to see smart ass replies............How long did it take for you to "get over" it? I dont mean like 100% Im sure that NEVER happens. But how long til you trusted them 100% and wasnt so jelous...like when females are around. Even just a friend??? I need to know there is a light at the end of the tunnel!

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 9:31 PM on Oct. 10, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (15)
  • If you dont care to see smart ass replies then dont post stupid ass questions.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:33 PM on Oct. 10, 2009

  • how can you trust again idk not being a smart ass just curious?
    SaphiraJFire

    Answer by SaphiraJFire at 9:34 PM on Oct. 10, 2009

  • Um, its not stupid. It is a legitimate question. It seems "moms" on here only want to be biotches, and not answer questions TRULY trying to be helpful! Instead they act like 12 year old boys!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:35 PM on Oct. 10, 2009

  • That is what I am asking?! I am getting better just not 100% THERE YET!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:36 PM on Oct. 10, 2009

  • I've got to be honest, I never really fully trusted him 100% but then he continued to be dishonest with me. I figured if he could lie about small stuff, he could continue to lie about big stuff. What kept us together was seeking counselling to help us understand the "whys" behind why we did what we did. (Yes, I cheated, too.) Our relationship was much better for it, but years later things started to fall apart again. I never cheated again, but I do have my deep suspicions that he did. FYI: I do NOT believe in "just friends" OR putting yourself in a situation that is prime for cheating, like going out drinking after work, etc. The offending party must realize that they need to earn trust back and if that means no "friends" of the opposite sex, sobeit. I'm pretty sure none of this has helped, sorry, I tried.
    WindyTheWidow

    Answer by WindyTheWidow at 9:37 PM on Oct. 10, 2009

  • My husband didn't physically cheat. He had an emotional affair that lasted nearly a year and started during my third trimester of my first pregnancy. It was horrible. It's been about 3 and a half years now and I'm feeling a whole lot better about him and us. Sometimes if he leaves work early and doesn't tell me, I feel lied to all over again. But, if I text him where he is he always is quick to text me back, so he's working on earning my trust back. He set up a Google chat on my computer at home and his pc at work. That way I can actually see when he is at his desk working, which also makes me feel better.

    I'd say that for 8 months it was pure, knots in my stomach, misery. But, then things slowly started to get better when I saw that he was living his life as an open book, truly was sorry, and recommitted to me.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:45 PM on Oct. 10, 2009

  • u never get over it. you may reach 90% but there will always be that 10% of doubt
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:47 PM on Oct. 10, 2009

  • Agree with Anon :47 While I love my husband and he only cheated online which is still cheating to me, and he's definitely changed and fulfilled all his promises there is always that last little 10% that never goes away.

    I would say it took about 8 months for me to get to about 70% trust. Now I'm at 90% and I hardly ever think about it, but the few times I do, it hurts all over again and even when I have my doubts and suspicions, and they are proved wrong, I'm still not sure he'll ever get back to 100% trust.

    The only reason I'm still with him is that he promised to change and he has. Well and truly, he changed, and he changed for me. To me he at least earned a second chance.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:10 PM on Oct. 10, 2009

  • I never saw it coming when I found out my husband was having an affair. It ripped me in half. Through God's grace and a lot of prayer, we make it alive and together on the other side. I don't know if a heart can ever fully heal after pain like that. I don't expect it to. It has been almost 2 years. I trust him because it will drive me into madness if I bite my nails everytime he leaves for work. I trust but I don't put my head in the sand. I check computer history, cell phone, wallets, bank statements...the works. He calls me before he leave work, calls me when he is out without me. He does everthing he can to prove to me he is doing right by me. I believe he is sorry. Do I trust him fully? Never again. But I love him and I want to our marriage to work. He's my best friend and I can't imagine a life without him. He's worth it. When I said for better or for worse, I meant it.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:14 PM on Oct. 10, 2009

  • Well my husband never cheated on me that I know of, but a close friend of mine went through this and she told me it took her almost 2 years to not feel so jealous. It took her about a year, maybe a little over, to stop bringing it up all together. It's been almost 3 years and they're doing great, and they are a very happy couple. She said they're happier now than they ever were before. Hope this helps! :)
    bethany_smith

    Answer by bethany_smith at 10:14 PM on Oct. 10, 2009

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