Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Why do women on here feel qualified to give advice to women in abusive relationships if they have never experienced it?

I just wonder where does it come from? I find it insulting when a woman who has no experience in the area can tell another woman to just leave, or call the cops, or that they like it! Every woman's situation is so touchy and complex! It's never that simple. What you say you would do and what you would really do if it happened are two very different things sometimes.


Asked by Anonymous at 10:53 PM on Oct. 10, 2009 in Just for Fun

This question is closed.
Answers (19)
  • i agree with you completely.i hate when i read a question about abuse and i read some1 just saying you must like really isnt that simple.everyones situation is different and its not that easy.some people are in denial,some blinded by love, some just stuck, and some are just hoping things can get better.sometimes calling the cops leads to extra events later whether its some1 coming after you for snitching or w.e.sometimes it wont help because you fought back and the stories switch up. sometimes they have nowhere to go and dont think to go to a shelter or something.some woman are just bitches on here and feel they know everything but until your in that situation you'll never know what its like.some people grew up watching there mothers get beat so its only natural for them to feel its ok.some woman jus dont think that deep into what kind of situation some1 is in n its so hard to get out of it.

    Answer by Desi2Sweet at 11:02 PM on Oct. 10, 2009

  • Agree with OP: Two VERY different things; I promise

    Answer by heartfrommyson at 10:58 PM on Oct. 10, 2009

  • I for one don't give advice other than to contact an abuse hotline to help them leave safely when they are ready. I would NEVER tell someone that they must like the abuse or they deserve it, that is just plain mean and wrong.

    Anyone can give general information without being mean or in the situation.

    Answer by tyfry7496 at 10:58 PM on Oct. 10, 2009

  • I think people who haven't been in that situation give advice based on what they consider to be common sense.  They state the obvious because maybe they don't realize how complex it can really be.


    Answer by Katrina3016 at 11:00 PM on Oct. 10, 2009

  • That's not the stuff we are talking about tyfry. Do you know how useless a freaking hotline # is to some women. But thanx for trying.

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:00 PM on Oct. 10, 2009

  • Actually. It really is that simple. The abused just needs the guts to get out. And the permission to take charge of her life. And yes, I was in an abusive relationship.

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:04 PM on Oct. 10, 2009

  • again i stand by saying everyone situation is diff its not all about having guts.

    Answer by Desi2Sweet at 11:07 PM on Oct. 10, 2009

  • What would like us to say? True, I have not been abused by my husband (either one). But I HAVE been seriously abused as a child, and I COULDN'T leave. To someone like me, when a woman is in an abusive domestic relationship, as bad as I feel for her, I feel ten times worse for her kids, WHO DON'T GET A VOTE. So when I tell a woman to leave, to do whatever she has to do short of maiming the guy to get out, I mean it. What would you suggest I say? I'm sorry this happening to you, hope it gets better? What? Tell me, oh anonumous one, so that I may better help.
    I have friends who have walked out with literally NOTHING but the clothes on their backs and their kids. It was horrible for them, but they did it, got away. Their lives were a thousand times a thousand times better the second their feet hit the pavement and they were no longer there. This is not my assuming, that is a quote. And by that, then what else would anyone say?

    Answer by Guinhyvar at 11:08 PM on Oct. 10, 2009

  • Well...if they post the question here then I'm guessing it's a free for all as to who answers. If an abused woman wants help from other abused women, I suggest she goes to an abused women website if she doesn't want advice from non-abused women.

    Answer by prettyrayray at 11:08 PM on Oct. 10, 2009

  • Then yes, if you did it yourself then say so, but if not then save your advice for where you know what you are talking about. I myself agree with anon @1104, but it's really hard for others to get there sometimes and they don't need some one telling them they deserve it or like it. No one really knows just how scared that one person is. Especially one who wasn't there themselves or had a loved one who was.

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:08 PM on Oct. 10, 2009