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How do i deal with a smart 11yr old stepson who is still very jealous.

This is a very mixed up 11 yr old kid, one minute, hes all loving, the next, he's possesive of his dad, rude to me. He loves his new baby sister(he says) but doesnt want anything to do with her. His parents had a bitter divorce. Mom treats him like adult and lets him know everything thats going on and she has full custody, we only get him 2 weekends a mth. According to him, she's always right, he acts like her, talks like her, demands we buy him things(he has every kind of game you can think of..X-Box, play stations 2/3 , etc) dad gives in. My husband feels that his 11 yr old is using him. Hes always making comments on how much its going to cost us when he goes to college, when we buy his first car and how our insurance is going to go thru the roof when he starts driving( has to come from his mom).Now my husband is upset and doesnt want to take his son for the 1wk summer vacation we get to have him.

What do i do?


Asked by Anonymous at 9:45 AM on Jun. 24, 2008 in Tweens (9-12)

This question is closed.
Answers (2)
  • Say hooray and call it a day. It is up to your husband he will have to deal with the consequences if any. If he puts a stop to his visits not completely but to a point maybe that will change the tune of the kid and the mother. If the father gives in all the time it is his own fault the kid is the way he is. Take a step back and let him deal with it on his own, let him see the damage both parents have done to this child.

    Answer by momto1727 at 2:43 PM on Jun. 24, 2008

  • It sounds like if you could possibly find a family counselor in your area, that would help. It's just a suggestion...but for the kid's own good, he really needs to learn some respect. I feel he is using you and your husband because of the situation he is in. If you only see him twice per month, you should be able to get through it without having to buy him something. What he really needs is your time and someone to talk to. He'll be going through puberty soon and things start changing with his body and hormones, etc. That is just my 2 cents because I have a boy who just turned 12. He very much likes to talk about his feelings (thank goodness) and I plan on encouraging that since the teenage years are coming! So, try and get a grip now. I would take him on the vacation but set aside some time to sit and talk with him to try and get this worked out. Best wishes.

    Answer by ChristineMom23 at 9:57 AM on Jun. 24, 2008