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anyone help??

ok so.i have a baby with a guy who isnt my husband but we thought my husband was the father so hes on the birth certificate and has been in my daughters like since day 1...her real dad wants to go to court and get custody..does anyone no how long it will take..i live in alaska and hes in florida.what would the custody be ?shes not even a year old.

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 3:07 AM on Oct. 11, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (8)
  • You will find out when you go to court. None of us on here are the judge you will be going in front of so why ask us what it will end up being. The judge makes the finally decision.


    You cheated on your hubby and got preggo? your hubby stayed with you! Did you learn a lesson in all of this, if you haven't yet hopefully you will.


    Answer by Anonymous at 3:27 AM on Oct. 11, 2009

  • well hun, I think it would depend on the states (both Florida and Alaska). You may want to Google this question about the custody laws in each state. I know that most states will leave the child with the mother until a certain age, but thats just hear-say. You may want to research this just in case you have other questions that could be answered too. Good luck hun!

    Answer by loveme2 at 3:29 AM on Oct. 11, 2009

  • he wasnt my husband at the time

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:58 AM on Oct. 11, 2009

  • Hopefully you are nursing the baby and if you are, I would say, nurse till the baby is 2. that way he can't. This situation sounds like an absolute nightmare! What a horrible position to be in, I feel so bad for you, I really hope it works out ok. Would love to hear updates. I have a friend in alaska who has had numerous custody issues (nightmarish) but still has her babies.
    Have faith, God will take care of you and your baby.

    Answer by JackieGirl007 at 4:20 AM on Oct. 11, 2009

  • How did the other guy find out the child was his instead of your hubby's?
    You don't have to do anything if you didn't do a DNA etc... you're married, his name is on B/C.
    The other guy is trying to scare you right now. With you being the Mom, the child being in a loving home with two parents, with all of their essential needs being met, I don't see how any judge would take the child from you to give to a man.
    If he does pursue this, it's going to cost someone a lot of money if not both because flying with the child back and forth will get expensive on both of you.
    Wishing you so much luck in your situation.

    Answer by lisa_ann_p at 7:27 AM on Oct. 11, 2009

  • First, he has to prove paternity. Talk to a lawyer and see if you can refuse the DNA testing. If you want to just do it and get it over with then of course let the test be done. I'm confused about you thinking it was hubby's and now you know it's not. Why did bio dad get the idea that it's really his kid? How do you know it's not hubby's? I would not have told bio dad anything but I guess that's water under the bridge now. Check out some sites like and (2 v's not a w) to see if they can be helpful. How long can the whole thing take? That depends on so much like state laws, how much money bio dad has for a good lawyer, etc. Good luck on that one. Not bashing but I would have taken that secret to my grave and would have never told bio dad but you didn't ask what I would have done!

    Answer by admckenzie at 9:04 AM on Oct. 11, 2009

  • Depends a lot on your states. But, it will be VERY hard for him to just go to court say he wants custody and actually get it. He would have to have real proof that your unfit to care for the child. Like pictures of abuse, horrible living conditions, or a neutral character witness against you that would hold up in court. My exh tried the same thing and was laughed out of court along with a no contact order and child support. He was told he was just trying to cause trouble and to grow up before he tries to take me back to court.

    Answer by luvbnmomnwife at 5:42 PM on Oct. 11, 2009

  • How did your DH find out,and how did bio-dad find out. Did you jump the gun,and tell your DH he was the daddy,did he marry you because he thought you was carrying his child. I hope you didn't mean to mis-lead your DH,if, you did,it's better that it's out in the opening,now you can start the healing process, and ask for forgiveness.


    Answer by Anonymous at 8:54 PM on Oct. 11, 2009

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