Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Ugh! I think its time to move on...

Me and the man I am currently with have been together (unmarried) for almost 4 years. We have a 2 year old together and lately we have been fighting and arguing a lot more it seems because of money. When I tell him that I am wanting out of the relationship, he threatens me with "Well I'm taking the baby" and I told him that he wouldn't have a chance in court because he is a convicted felon (mind you, he hasn't been in trouble in over 7 years). I know I shouldn't have anything to worry about other than if I do really leave him, he would really try to take my son from me (physically). There is an assortment of other issues as well, especially him not wanting to help me potty train the 2 year old because it makes him feel "uncomfortable". Seriously, this man is difficult!!!! I feel like my head is about to spin. NO BASHING AND PLEASE DON"T BE RUDE. Thank you.

Answer Question
 
loveme2

Asked by loveme2 at 3:35 AM on Oct. 11, 2009 in Relationships

Level 1 (0 Credits)
Answers (7)
  • Well i have to tell you my hubby is a convicted felon and when him and I got together he just won the custody of his two older child so felon or not that will not stop the judge making a decision on his behalf. Also that is your childs father and he has just as much rights to the child as you do no matter if you two aren't married. You may just want to look into your rights and what could happen if you leave him. # 1 if your child is taen out of his home that's bad points on you so to speak. Don't think that you just know it all when you really don't. GL
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:59 AM on Oct. 11, 2009

  • I am a Criminal Justice student, so I think I may know more about my situation than anyone else. I posted my question for some feedback, not to recieve rude comments like that. So take it easy. Some ways people express themselves can be taken differently by others, so please watch how you say things.
    loveme2

    Answer by loveme2 at 4:04 AM on Oct. 11, 2009

  • Hmm... I saw absolutely nothing with the first post. Sounded like someone with experience talking to me.
    To leave someone because they won't help you potty train a child would be laughable in court. If a person is uncomfortable with a diaperless child then why not respect that? My hubby refused to change our daughters diapers, it made him feel uncomfortable and I respect that. Too many people getting accused of inappropriate actions and your man's already been in trouble so his fear could definetely be understood.
    To threaten your partner at all is wrong but you're hurting the relationship by holding his felony over his head too. It saddens me that people use their children to hurt or keep someone like that (him). If he doesn't do diapers and doesn't want to train... he wouldn't last a day.
    If you want out and you're so postive it'll go in your favor... go.
    lisa_ann_p

    Answer by lisa_ann_p at 7:21 AM on Oct. 11, 2009

  • Constant fighting in front of the kids is stressful and may affect them their entire lives. If you want to leave then leave and remember never to badmouth their dad even if he never gives you a dime and keeps fighting for custody and has girlfriends you don't like.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:41 AM on Oct. 11, 2009

  • He sounds controlling. Men often threaten to take the child(ren) out of fear and they know most women back down from that. He can't take your child unless you are proven to be a bad mom. The most he can do is ask the court for full custody. With his background and the fact that courts don't like taking kids from moms, his threat is unlikely.
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 8:54 AM on Oct. 11, 2009

  • I always get sad when I hear about someone wanting out of their relationship because the family that the child had is breaking up. I get this way because it is always something I wanted for me and my son but never had the opportunity... I will try to be honest with you and look at the situation from your point of view.

    If you are unhappy, then there is no need to stay with him... nothing good will ever come out of that. With all the arguing and fighting, you both may need to take time a part and analyze the situation... maybe this will bring you closer in the end. I know that the potty training thing sounds ridiculous to most but with you being unhappy, everything he doesn't do to help out is going to bring you down. It happens because you feel like you deserve more and you do. No one is perfect and no one will ever be able to offer us everything we feel we deserve but if this doesn't feel right to you anymore...
    ProudMom_5703

    Answer by ProudMom_5703 at 11:07 AM on Oct. 11, 2009

  • you don't have to stay. Life is about choices... happiness is a choice away... you should never put yourself in an unhappy situation just because you have children together. If you are unhappy and you don't want to be with him, your child will sense that... it will hurt them more in the long run. If he threatens you, write it down... each and everytime he does it. Tell them when you go to court that you want out because you feel that it is best to not put your child in a hostile environment... that you two just can't get along and that you were always afraid to leave because he threatened to take your child away. Don't hold things over his head because you got to be the better person. I started reading this book a while back when things weren't going good in my relationship and I think that it may have helped us come together and work things out if my ex wasn't an alcoholic... it's called Love & Respect. Good Luck.
    ProudMom_5703

    Answer by ProudMom_5703 at 11:15 AM on Oct. 11, 2009

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.

Next question in Relationships
anyone help??

Next question overall (Pregnancy)
Anyone else experience this?

close Join now to connect to
other members!
Connect with Facebook or Sign Up Using Email

Already Joined? LOG IN