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Theres Hope????...

Me and my boyfriend, whom is also my baby's father. Use to stay together, last year when I was pregnant. We agrued ALOT, mostly about bills.And about his family being in OUR business. We moved out of that apt. in January, I moved back home with my family. Had my daughter in March. Okay, he has moved to ANOTHER town, and wants us to be together as a family. Am really, really unsure. But I told his dad, whom got our belongs out of storages(today) , to go and ahead and take my things to the NEW town and NEW apt. Which is 4 hours away from where am @ now. He saids that he will change and will not argue with me.He also has a job that will keep him away from the home for about 10 hours(everyday) But why am I 2nd guessing MYSELF???..Please tell me (If u have every given someone a 2nd chance) is it worth, trying?...Is the hope and a broken relationship?..

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 3:45 AM on Oct. 11, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (5)
  • I would go with your gut if your gut is telling you to give him one more chance then go if not stay living with your family and save to get your own place for you and the baby. GL
    raemommy

    Answer by raemommy at 3:52 AM on Oct. 11, 2009

  • I did this once, moved back in and NOTHING good came out of it, and the worst part was that I knew I shouldn't do it but I did it anyway. Good luck and be strong.
    JackieGirl007

    Answer by JackieGirl007 at 4:11 AM on Oct. 11, 2009

  • If his family was in your business a lot and that was part of the problem... then the move might be a good thing. New town, with new job... might be good.
    Before you go tho, I think you should talk about how you'll handle the arguements. I personally think it's just better to walk away at the first raised voice so you don't say something you'll regret. Talk about the bills ahead of time and decide who's going to pay what and when. Set up a budget including how much spending money each of you will get etc. In short... address the problems you've had in the past so you'll both know what the other wants to do to deal with them.
    Sometimes people do learn from their mistakes but it's always scarey to take a chance after you've been hurt.
    lisa_ann_p

    Answer by lisa_ann_p at 6:57 AM on Oct. 11, 2009

  • I would stay put where you are now. He should prove to you first that he has changed. This should be given 6 months to a year. Then, if you are satisfied with the changes that he has demonstrated to you, and if he is willing to marry you and make a family, it would be perfectly acceptable for you to marry him. I would be very suspicious that he just wants you back in his bed and that really nothing has change. After all, what proof do you have? I think that's why you are feeling unsure about the move. Deep down inside, you know he is still the same guy he's always been.
    NannyB.

    Answer by NannyB. at 6:58 AM on Oct. 11, 2009

  • If you are just at home with mom and dad anyway then what's the worst that can happen if you try this again with him? If you do go then give it a deadline like until the first of the year or if you like, give it one year (whatever time you decide). Tell him that he has until that deadline to show you that he's changed but remember that it takes two to argue. If he starts it then just don't say anything. He can't keep it going without you arguing back. So both learn from the past. I'd give it a try. You can always move back home again.
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 9:08 AM on Oct. 11, 2009

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