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Is it ok to correct someone else's child?

We were at an octoberfest celebration. A little girl told my daughter that she needed to excercise because she was too fat. I went up to the little girl and told her she didn't need to tell my daughter that she is fat because it hurts her feelings. Did I do the right thing. If her mom approcaches me about it what should I tell her without it becomming a hugh confrontation. This is completely out of character for me. I don't know what happened to me other than the fact that I felt I had to defend my daughter.

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Asked by Catholicmom273 at 10:59 AM on Oct. 11, 2009 in School-Age Kids (5-8)

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Answers (18)
  • I don't feel like you were in the wrong AT ALL.  Only in the fact that you haven't ALREADY spoken to the mother and had the issue addressed rather than to wait around and see if she says something.  If my child had said this to someone else, I would want to know about it and he or she would be in trouble.  I would not be mad at you for correcting my daughter on her unacceptable behavior because they are kids, if you wait too long, they forget.  At least, thats what I read in American Baby. 


    Answer by Katrina3016 at 11:04 AM on Oct. 11, 2009

  • You took up for your daughter, I would have done the same thing. What that little girl said was uncalled for.

    Answer by KalebsMommee at 11:04 AM on Oct. 11, 2009

  • Yes, in some circumstances, I would say it is fine to correct another's child - especially if the parent isn't around and you witness the wrongdoing. Particularly if the wrongdoing is violent or very harmful in nature. However, in this case, I probably would have chosen to coach my daughter on how to handle it with her friend and stayed out of it. Kids say all sorts of horrible things to each other....heck, so do adults. Teaching your daughter how to handle it on her own will probably do her more good than confronting the other child in this case.

    Answer by ANGIE409 at 11:04 AM on Oct. 11, 2009

  • Angie, i'm sure you would just sit back and allow someone to say something mean to your child without saying anything at all just because well they "have to learn". Yea, I don't think so.. That's like saying if your child is getting beat up you don't step in because face it they just have to learn to defend themselves.

    Answer by KalebsMommee at 11:07 AM on Oct. 11, 2009

  • That was fine; if the other child's parent isn't around, I will correct someone else's child.

    Answer by LadyEb at 11:13 AM on Oct. 11, 2009

  • I would have done the same thing. ( and I have) I am NOT afraid to tell someone else's child if they are out of line, especially if the parents arent around at the moment. If mom has something to say about it, I would nicely, and with a smile, tell her that "little suzie was being mean and I thought what she said was inappropriate and hurtful" Children have to be taught what is appropriate and what is not and if no one ever says anything, well, then we get a world full of hateful hurtful people that no one wants to be around :)

    Answer by SuperMomof3kids at 11:18 AM on Oct. 11, 2009

  • IT depends on the circumstances and who the child is. If you don't know the family, I would just walk away. If someone was hurting my child, I would step in. Otherwise, I would ignore it.

    Answer by tyfry7496 at 11:30 AM on Oct. 11, 2009

  • You have to be really careful how you say things. You want to try to avoid telling other people's kids what to do, or not do, when their parents are around. No matter the situation a parent can be upset about you telling their child what to do.

    You do not need to defend your daughter to a child!

    If your daughter is overweight this is an issue that is going to come up and you need to be prepared to deal with it in a more constructive way. You don't say if she is overweight, so I don't know. You may need to prepare her for the fact that this is going to happen. People notice and try to fatten up my too thin son who eats 4,000 calories a day.

    So you want to avoid telling other kids what to do and not sink to the level of defending your child to other kids or ignorant adults. In the process you don't want to hurt her more or make a scene. Sometimes it's better to just let it go with a, "how rude!"


    Answer by Gailll at 11:41 AM on Oct. 11, 2009

  • The only thing I would have done. If a child said that to my child. Is "where is your mom and dad". Most kids will tell you or point to where they are. Then I would have went to the parents and told them they need to keep track of their kid. Because she is running around saying nasty things to other children.


    Answer by louise2 at 11:59 AM on Oct. 11, 2009

  • I don't think you did anything wrong in that case. I have a problem with people punishing other people's kids without express permission, but I don't think it was wrong of you to remind her that the things she says might hurt someone's feelings. I don't know the girl's intent, but I've known of other kids who have said things like that thinking they were helping. It didn't occur to them that what they said might be hurtful. Kids aren't always aware of how their words affect others, and it can help to have a reminder from someone other than their mom or dad.

    Answer by jessradtke at 12:21 PM on Oct. 11, 2009

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