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If you thought you x was sleeping in your garage what would you do?

My x and I have 2 children together..they are grown my 18 yr old still lives here..well he and his dad have a relationship I am remarried for almost 10 yrs and my dh has been very patient..I think he knows and doesnt know what to do either..but for my kids' sake he just ignores it.. my dh is an alcoholic and has been in and out of the mission cause either he wont look for work or he comes in drinkin I hate to call the police I really dont want to talk to him hes always drunk....not that I am chicken..not every nite but I got up the other night and I could see the light was on cause the door was cracked my son must of let him have a key, oh my dh has caught him before walked in there one morning and he was in there sleeping it is hard to know what to do what would you guys do or think?

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 3:48 PM on Oct. 11, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (10)
  • If it were my ex, I would talk to him and tell him that my house isn't his "crash pad" and that he needs to find somewhere else to sleep. If he did it again, I'd be likely to call the police.
    I don't understand - if your dh an alcoholic, or your ex?
    missanc

    Answer by missanc at 3:51 PM on Oct. 11, 2009

  • This is slightly rambling and confusing, so... I might definitely be wrong.
    But, I'm just wondering... WHY is he sleeping in the garage...? Is your son's room the garage? So he bunks with his son? Does your son feel threatened whenever stepdad is drunk? Does he get abusive? Physical or verbally? Is DH homeless?
    I guess I would find out the why's before coming to a decision.
    Without knowing anything, I just find it kind of weird that he's sleeping in the garage like a raccoon in hiding.
    K_Sawyer

    Answer by K_Sawyer at 3:52 PM on Oct. 11, 2009

  • I know its hard to explain my dh is not the alcoholic...my x is the homeless one hes pathetic been in and out of jail he acts like hes getting a disease that his mom had called hunningtons so thats another reason for putting off the police thing I tried to get my kids to help him file for disability
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:02 PM on Oct. 11, 2009

  • You can't get him help by not calling the police... You don't have to make it seem like he's trespassing or get files charged on him or just, overall, make him look like the bad guy.
    You can call the police and voice your concerns, or the hospital. Say that he's an alcoholic, he's homeless, and you suspect that he might have a disability. Ask them what can be done, or if he can, at least, be checked into a rehab facility for treatment of his alcoholism.

    If he has Huntington's, you might want your children checked as well. They have a 50% chance of inheriting this same neuro-degenerative disorder. Good luck.
    K_Sawyer

    Answer by K_Sawyer at 4:09 PM on Oct. 11, 2009

  • I would try to get him the help he needs but tell him he needs to keep his distance. And I'd change the locks.
    EmeraldsMommy

    Answer by EmeraldsMommy at 4:11 PM on Oct. 11, 2009

  • I really appriciate your comments if anyone else cares to go ahead I have been wanting some advice for awhile, but scared of all the bashing thanks again
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:24 PM on Oct. 11, 2009

  • http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Huntington's_disease


    Here maybe this will help in understanding Huntington's.  It is a neurological disorder that can affect things such as his ability to function every day task like a job.  I am not trying to make excuses for him but read more on the disease itself.  Does his Mother have it or his Father?  If yes, then he could have the early signs.  If one of his parents has it then you should strongly suggest that he get tested because it is hereditary disease. 

    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:24 PM on Oct. 11, 2009

  • Are your ex's parents alive, can they help him? Is there a shelter where he can stay? There must be state services that you could take him to for help. Tell him it's not suitable for him to crash at your home.
    jeanclaudia

    Answer by jeanclaudia at 4:42 PM on Oct. 11, 2009

  • If you enable him he will continue to take advantage of you. He has to make it in life on his own. If you have concerns call AA and ask one of their sponsors what they suggest you do.
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 4:57 PM on Oct. 11, 2009

  • thanks again I so appriciate all your advice I will pass this on to my kids so we can try to help him....I dont wanna see anyone be sick like tthis and I know the alcohol isnt helping any it is a sad disease his mom and his grandpa both died with it.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:17 AM on Oct. 12, 2009

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