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Is something made acceptable?

My hubbys cousin got married this summer and we were unable to attend their wedding because we couldn't afford it. My cousin also got married last week and the same deal. I love to sew and have a large stash of quilting fabrics from better times so I thought I would make them each a quilt. Then I re-read the invite to one of the weddings and it said in lieu of gifts, they wanted cash for a delayed honeymoon. Is it still acceptable to send a quilt instead as we really don't have cash to send? Or should I scrape together what little we can afford (like $20) or just skip it altogether since we don't have the cash to send? I know my cousin will love a hand made piece because she will see the effort involved, but I don't know about DH's cuz.


Asked by Anonymous at 5:44 PM on Oct. 11, 2009 in Money & Work

This question is closed.
Answers (6)
  • It is phenomenally rude to request specific gifts when sending invitations to any event. It is completely polite to happily ignore such immature greed and do whatever makes you happy. A wedding invitation is not, contrary to popular opinion, a demand for gifts with menaces. You can send a card of congratulations, if you feel like it, but even that is NOT required. Even if you attended the wedding, actually.

    A wedding is not a form of economic exchange ($x cost of wedding = guests must bring $x worth of gifts to be welcome) and people who think it is need to be corrected. And probably learn some basic finance, like 'if you can't afford to entertain this way, don't.'

    Answer by LindaClement at 5:57 PM on Oct. 11, 2009

  • I say send whatever you feel like sending. That is a really nice gift a quilt. I think it would mean more to me than 20 bucks.

    Answer by Jguevara at 5:46 PM on Oct. 11, 2009

  • Skip the cash and just send them a card. The Dollar Tree has some nice ones. =]

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:45 PM on Oct. 11, 2009

  • A gift made with love is meaningful.

    Answer by rkoloms at 7:56 AM on Oct. 12, 2009

  • Yes, definitely send the quilt to the cousin you know will enjoy it. I find it extremely rude to ask for cash for any reason (except my 12 year old son this year is asking for cash for birthday and Christmas to buy himself a laptop - but then that's the difference between being a juvenile and an adult!)
    I would probably send it to DH's cousin as well. If you don't mind spending the time on it, what's the difference?
    One of the problems with asking for cash is that I often have time to wait for a good deal to buy something perfectly nice, but at an extreme discount. So their gift may cost $100 initially, but because I use coupons, wait for sales, cash in points, airmiles, etc, the gift might cost ME half that or even be free. It's really none of their business how much I spend. They should be thankful no matter what that I've gone to the trouble of selecting and purchasing something just for them.
    Even more so if hand made

    Answer by Six_on_my_own at 10:08 AM on Oct. 12, 2009

  • Make a quilt for your cousin. From what you said it sounds like she'd really appreciate it. I would have loved a gift like that with so much work and meaning involved. To the DH cousin who asks for money or nothing I'd give them just that. Nothing. Send a nice card with your congratulations in it. Or forget about them altogether if your husband isn't close to them. That is so rude. I hate it when people do that.

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:24 PM on Oct. 12, 2009