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Why is it OK to say working moms are letting other people raise their kids?

I don't think people should come down on moms who stay at home, but some SAHMs love to say they stay at home so "other people won't be raising my kids."
I work full time and raise my son. I teach him morals and values and he loves me in a way he'll never love anyone else. Saying the daycare is rasing him is just plain out of line.

How can one side bitch about being criticized when both seem to do it equally?


Asked by Anonymous at 5:55 PM on Oct. 11, 2009 in General Parenting

This question is closed.
Answers (119)
  • I was raised by a working mother. I have no memories whatsoever of my daycare providers. I have more memories than I can count of my mother being there for me. Story time, dinners, parks, putting band aids on my owies, teaching me to ride my bike. I may have spent my days at daycare, but without a doubt, I was raised by mother.

    My son will be able to say the same thing.

    Answer by Groovy-flor at 10:28 PM on Oct. 11, 2009

  • Why let it bother you? Personally I don't care what you do or don't do, it seems to me it bothers you , or you wouldn't be posting up about it... JMO

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:57 PM on Oct. 11, 2009

  • I'm curious as to why someone who defends her own choice feels the need to attack mine. It doesn't bother me. I'm just wondering how they would justify it.


    Just looking for insight.


    Answer by Anonymous at 6:02 PM on Oct. 11, 2009

  • I'm a working mom and i catch flack too. "honey why don't you stay home with your kids?" "what happened to the days when women used to stay home and take care of the house and kids?" I was a single mom for a while and if i didn't work,. me and my children would have been living in the streets. We do what we know we need to do for our families And quite frankly, my children adapted well socially when entering school and have many friends. I think there's pro's and con's to daycare and kids staying home. As long as you know you're doing what's best for your family, don't worry about what other people say. They don't know your situation.

    Answer by angiewith2 at 6:04 PM on Oct. 11, 2009

  • Does it bother you because it's true? I work too but someone else is basically raising my child. Someone else is there to feed him and put band aides on his knees and hold him while they watch cartoons. Someone else is there to take him to the park during the day and read to him. When you get off of work how many hours do you really have with the kids? Maybe at best 3 or 4. Get dinner started, everyone baths, make sure everything that you need to do is done and then it's time for bed. Someone else is raising your children when you work. Don't get offended by it it's the truth. yeah you have weekends but you can't make up for the majority of the time that you're not there.

    Answer by Anonymous at 6:04 PM on Oct. 11, 2009

  • 6:04 either you're lying or feeling guilty. I have no doubt I'm raising my son.


    Answer by Anonymous at 6:07 PM on Oct. 11, 2009

  • 6:04 if I felt that way I'd go on welfare or live in my car before I'd send him to day care. That's just not how I feel.


    Answer by Anonymous at 6:08 PM on Oct. 11, 2009

  • you should care what others think am a sahm but personally i want to work but i dont like daycare. my sisters are working moms and i look up to them

    Answer by piwife at 6:09 PM on Oct. 11, 2009

  • When you put your child in another persons care they are raising your child. Throughout history this has been a common practice. It is so one child can learn from many teachers. It is said because it is fact, you are just taking it personally.

    Answer by Anonymous at 6:10 PM on Oct. 11, 2009

  • OP here- I'm really not taking it personally. And no really really the day care is not raising my child. True he spends alot of time there, but that's not the same as being raised. I'm a teacher myself and I'm not raising the kids I teach even though I spend so much time with them, it's not the same thing.

    I just think both have pros and cons and to criticize moms who choose differently is a sign of insecurity in your own choice. I really thought I might get some insight onto how someone feels it's OK to attack others, yet be offended when their own choice is criticized.


    Answer by Anonymous at 6:15 PM on Oct. 11, 2009