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I'm afraid of dating or letting any new guy around my daughter

I have trouble trusting and stuff but the only guy I trust around my daughter is my ex. I think I'm ready to start dating again but I'm afraid cause I don't want to meet a guy who in the future turns out to be abusive and hurts my daughter, I have nightmares about it all the time. The last guy I tried to date, a rebound right after my separation was very emotionally closed off and my daughter got hit in the head with the door and all he said was you're fine stop crying. He wasn't even concerned! I dumped him so fast! I'm worried I'll never find anyone and I'm still in love with my ex but he has a new gf and loves his life now..

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 8:44 PM on Oct. 11, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (7)
  • Then don't date until your child is old enough to communicate with you. Do protect her.

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:46 PM on Oct. 11, 2009

  • Personally if anything ever happened between me and my DH, I wouldnt bring anyone else around them. Men are wierd with kids that aren't theirs. Not all men but some. and you dont know which one youve got until things start mysteriously happening to your little girl. I'd say don't chance it. Just wait.

    Answer by Shyma at 8:49 PM on Oct. 11, 2009

  • You are very wise and I commend you for your feelings. I wish more women had your way of thinking. Good for you. The thing every mom needs to remember is that no one will love your children the way his own parents do. It's hard to realize, but it's the way it is. Just live your life for your daughter and yourself. You don't need anyone!

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:05 PM on Oct. 11, 2009

  • It is true,everyone needs someone,do you know why you feel like someone will hurt your DD,were you abused. I was married,then divorced, when I dated, I just dated,but,I didn't bring anyone to my home.Then, I met my DH,this man was a dream come true,he has been more of a father than any man could be,he knew I had been hurt,so,his main goal in life was to make sure I and my 2 kids were provided for and love,we now have 3 more kids,and that was almost 20 years ago,and he is still my knight and shinning armour. I respect you for being careful about inviting people around your DD,but, you will find someone who you can trust. I'm so glad I did.


    Answer by Anonymous at 9:24 PM on Oct. 11, 2009

  • I was abused when i was her age, but my grandma for some reason knowing that i've been kinda wanting to date or thinking about it was looking at all these videos about toddles who were abused and were killed and its just made me sick i never want anything happening to her. i already know that if i do date i won't let anyone around my daughter.

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:34 PM on Oct. 11, 2009

  • This is anon24, I could tell by your post you had been abused,did you get therapy. You sound like you are a very intelligent young lady. Although, I wasn't abused, I just chose not to have men around my girls,I think you should keep dating,but keep the people away from your DD, you will know when the right person come along, you can introduce her in a wide open space,but,still keep him from your house.Good luck. Tell grandma to stop watching those scary videos, I watch them too,lol.


    Answer by Anonymous at 9:43 PM on Oct. 11, 2009

  • You will never know if you don't get out in their and try. Just go slow.

    Answer by admckenzie at 9:53 PM on Oct. 11, 2009

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