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Someone settle this debate before I lose my mind, Caution TMI,

My youngest will be 4 in November and has been potty trained for over a year now, but when he goes potty I still help him wipe and wash his hands. Well I am visiting my mother right now and she is telling me that at his age and the amount of time he has been P.T.ed That I should not be helping him in the bathroom. She says I am babying him and that I should stop right away or he will never be able to do it on his own. I say that he is still a month shy of 4 and still my baby so if he needs help, I am going to help him. How old where your children before you left them to handle bathroom business alone? Am I babying him or should I just tell her to back off? My mother has given me some great advice in the past when it comes to my children but in this case I think she is just wrong. Am I doing him harm like she says?

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 11:18 PM on Oct. 11, 2009 in Preschoolers (3-4)

Answers (16)
  • I'm guessing he's not very tall, if he's 3. Can he even reach the sink to turn on the water? I think you're actually helping him not get sick and you're helping his personal hygiene. Don't worry, he'll grow up soon enough. Maybe too soon for you.

    Answer by MonicaE521 at 11:23 PM on Oct. 11, 2009

  • I don't think so he's still quite young and since little boys sometimes don't do too well wiping themselves its a good thing that you help. I would let him do it himself of course but I would def make sure he was capable of doing it right before I let him go alone. You're his Mom, you know when he's ready.

    Answer by KayLundy3 at 11:24 PM on Oct. 11, 2009

  • He's getting to that age to do it by himself. just help him do it.. show him and then make it a big deal when he does it on his own. soon he will b a pro. Sit outside the door and make a big huge deal when he comes out and did it all alone. My daughter is 3 almost 4 in feb she'd freak out if i wanted to help her!!!

    Answer by Mrs.Oriaku at 11:25 PM on Oct. 11, 2009

  • I think I would still go with him to "supervise", but let him do what he needs to while you are there. He can slowly become more independent. Check to make sure he's done a good job wiping, and make sure he washes his hands well afterward, but actually let him do those things now. He is still pretty young, but many kids are in preschool and have to do those things for themselves.

    Answer by ohwrite at 11:26 PM on Oct. 11, 2009

  • My oldest had to do for herself before I was ready - it was hard to wipe her butt when I was in the middle of breastfeeding! I rearranged stuff so when I was feeding baby I could watch her in the bathroom and coach her. She was wiping herself before she was 4. Now my 3rd is almost 4.5 and I wipe her when she's home - if she poops at preschool she ends up with a very sore bottom because she just can't do it - she's good with washing her hands though.

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:26 PM on Oct. 11, 2009

  • IMO, your son is still entitled to get some mama help when needed. My son will be 4 in Dec, he needs help wiping now and im pretty sure he will need a bit then as well.
    Any kid that can perform a complete, clean and sanitary wipe and hand wash in their early 4's should write a book for the rest of us. lol

    Answer by Ihatelaundry at 12:03 AM on Oct. 12, 2009

  • My son is 4 and he is just now starting to wipe himself , something he had to learn to do at school but I still help him if he needs it. As for washing his hands, I don't help him I just make sure he has a step stool so he can reach the sink.

    Answer by KalebsMommee at 12:15 AM on Oct. 12, 2009

  • my son is potty trained for a year and 2 months, I still help him wipe and wash his hands, he tries to wipe himself but sometimes he leaves stuff behind.

    Answer by looovemybabies at 12:22 AM on Oct. 12, 2009

  • At that age, I would let my son wipe himself - but I would check to make sure he'd done a good job, and I'd supervise to make sure he did a good job washing his hands. So while I might not have done it for him, I was still there available to help if he did need it, and making sure he did do a good job.

    Answer by canadianmom1974 at 2:37 AM on Oct. 12, 2009

  • My DD is 3 1/2 she wipes and washes her hands by herself... however we double check the wipe job if she goes #2.

    Answer by Navymama at 8:42 AM on Oct. 12, 2009

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