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Please give me advice on how to be a GOOD MOM.

i just want to be better. I don't think I'm a good enough mom. But I've been told that I'm attentive, loving, and my daughter looks like she's very happy and taken care of. She's 7 months. I just feel like crap. Like she'll hate me someday. And I'm not really a GOOD MOTHER. If you could tell me what characteristics you think a GOOD MOM has, what are they?

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 12:57 AM on Oct. 12, 2009 in General Parenting

Answers (13)
  • I'm sure you are a good mother otherwise you wouldn't be worried.
    Tams_jade

    Answer by Tams_jade at 12:59 AM on Oct. 12, 2009

  • Know that you won't be perfect, but that's okay because your human. You won't have all of the answers ever, so all you can do, is make the best decisions you can out of love for your child. If you make your decisions out of love, and putting her best interest first, you'll do fine. Don't be afraid to apologize when you make a mistake. Treat her with the same love and respect you want to be treated with.

    It sounds like you're doing a good job, and the fact that you want to be the best mom you can be, will help you to do just that. Congratulations on your daughter, and what a lucky girl she is to have such a caring, loving mom.
    ohwrite

    Answer by ohwrite at 1:06 AM on Oct. 12, 2009

  • A good Mom loves her child, but she accepts that neither of them are perfect (the mom or kid), and that over the yrs, both are going to make mistakes. A good mom is there for her child, but at the same time, doesn't try to be her child's friend - they will have lots of friends and only 1 Mom - which is a much deeper and longer lasting relationship than friend.

    A good mom knows that, yes, their kids probably will hate them at times (or at least think they do, and will definitely not like them sometimes), and that's ok, too, because a good mom knows that sometimes the best choice is the unpopular (with the child) one. My kids know that they don't always have to like me - that in fact, I don't always like them (they're teens lol), but I ALWAYS ALWAYS ALWAYS love them.

    A good mom does her best, but accepts she's human.
    sailorwifenmom

    Answer by sailorwifenmom at 1:07 AM on Oct. 12, 2009

  • Oh, to clarify - when I say, don't try to be their friend, I don't mean that you can't hang out, do things together, be open to anything they want to talk about, etc. Do those things. I just mean don't be one of those parents who are afraid to make the "hard choices" of parenting - grounding them when they need it, not letting them have something that you know they shouldn't, etc.
    sailorwifenmom

    Answer by sailorwifenmom at 1:10 AM on Oct. 12, 2009

  • What do you do that makes you think you're not a good mother? Maybe you need time for your away from your child? Being with our family's too much can makes us feel bad. Public libraries have great toddler into adulthood and elderly clubs and they're all free. Look into that. Make a list of what others love about you as a person and as a mother, then another column what your dd loves about you and a third column what you love about yourself as a human.

    No matter if you're a mom who works being a stay at home mom or a mom who leaves home each day to work, both are very very hard jobs. Give yourself a hug, dance with your dd and put on some music and let it get even just you dancing. Music can be empowering.

    Try those things and if you don't feel better after a bit call your ob or primary for an appointment for counselling. Sometimes churches in these times that are rough all around even have clergy that have couns.
    lfl

    Answer by lfl at 1:17 AM on Oct. 12, 2009

  • I'm willing to bet you are a good Mom! I'm assuming this is your first child. You have only been a Mom for seven months. Your going to be a Mom for the rest of your life. As your child grows, you will grow as a Mother. Nobody knows it all from day one. When I started getting the hang out of having a baby, I wondered if I would make a good Mom to a toddler, then I got the hang out of toddlerhood and wondered if I would be a good Mom to a school age child. Now I am wondering if I will be a good Mom to a teenager someday! I think I'm a good Mom, not perfect, but I believe I am the Mom MY kids need because God gave them to me. Bad Mom's don't CARE, that's why they are bad Mom's. You wont find them on here, concerned about whether they are being a good Mom or not because they don't give a flip. You and your baby were meant for each other, God knew that when he gave you to each other. Be patient with yourself, you will be fine. :)
    Mama2JoshKatie

    Answer by Mama2JoshKatie at 1:23 AM on Oct. 12, 2009

  • You are a great mother, a mother that cares will always worry, a bad mother would not have a happy baby, you just need to belive in yourself and be confedent, good luck momma :)
    looovemybabies

    Answer by looovemybabies at 1:49 AM on Oct. 12, 2009

  • Im sure you are a good mother.
    Maybe tho you should talk to someone about your feelings.
    I felt that way and I have been suffering from depression I feel better now that i am on anti depressants
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:01 AM on Oct. 12, 2009

  • I'm sorry anon, but how does loving--or not loving--Jesus have ANYTHING to do with being a good mother? Religious belief does not make for a good mom.

    Just ask Carrie (from Stephen King) lol
    epoh

    Answer by epoh at 9:00 AM on Oct. 12, 2009

  • I was a stolen Baby. Taken and raised by the RN from my birth hospital I was born in! I lived a sad,lied to, 'abused life!! When I was 13 I found her Dead! When I was on my own at 19. I was pregnant. I located my Bio mother. Dying from Breast cancer at age:47. So I never had the Love, Care, support or security of a loving mother or Family! I intended on being the kind of Mother I dreamed of having!! If you see a mom doing something Sweet. Try that. See good parenting on TV? Do that! Read books! Follow your instincts! Most of all unconditional Love and Care!! Best of Luck! You can do it! Enjoy they grow up too fast!!
    Angellinda

    Answer by Angellinda at 9:42 AM on Oct. 12, 2009

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