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Im going crazy need help on something.

Ok so im struggling over two of my friends possibly becoming more than just friends. The guy friend of mine and I had been intimate with each other in the past off and on for a year actually. My girlfriend knows nothing about it. He is thinking of trying to make something happen with the two of them. Which is cool... for them. But for me it's bugging the hell out of me. And i mean in all honesty when i say i don't care, i don't! I don't want him, im not even really attracted to him.. just what we "had" had was exciting and that's about it. The idea of him "being intimate" with her makes me sick to my stomach, and I think I'm relating it back to when my ex husband and i split the feeling i felt inside when i found out he had slept with another woman. Im looking for any advice or suggestions on how i can maybe get passed this feeling?

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 7:03 AM on Oct. 12, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (8)
  • This is the kind of crap that happens when you sleep with people outside of marriage. You have no rights to this man so you will just have to suffer the consequences & learn from your mistake.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:20 AM on Oct. 12, 2009

  • If you dont care about this guy then it would not make you sick to your stomach to think of him and your gf together. If she is a close friend then I would just tell her what happened and how you feel. Whats the worst that could happen? If she knew of this relationship maybe it would bother her too that now she is involved
    Steph319

    Answer by Steph319 at 7:20 AM on Oct. 12, 2009

  • If you really don't want him, it shouldn't bother you at all, unless you know something he doesn't.
    kustomkrochet

    Answer by kustomkrochet at 7:22 AM on Oct. 12, 2009

  • OP here

    ya so the whole live with my mistakes thing or what ever sorry kudos to you if you can live a life NON married and no sex cuz .. that's not me! but thank you for ur opinion! I can see that too...... but ya just not me.

    And i cant tell my GF cuz... well we all work together LOL its just one big complicated mess. IDk guess i am letting it get to me more than it should And honestly i really dont want the guy for myself. Just makes me sick to think of them sleeping together. idk.... thanks for ur input!!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:34 AM on Oct. 12, 2009

  • I think if you're going to spout off with rude judgmental comments you should at least use your user name. JMO

    Anyway...
    It sounds pretty normal. Time will make it easier. I've felt that way about people who only had crushes on me and I felt nothing for them. Kind of a 'I don't want him, but I don't want him to want someone else' deal. Jealousy in it's many many forms. lol
    As for telling your friend, I wouldn't. It will just complicate things more. Unless you're close friends, because you wouldn't want it coming out at a bad time, like right before their wedding.
    prdill08

    Answer by prdill08 at 8:15 AM on Oct. 12, 2009

  • stick out tongue minisick way to live

    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:10 AM on Oct. 12, 2009

  • Well, you've made your bed, huh? My fear is that your friend will eventually find out that you've slept with this other friend and didn't tell her. I'm sure she'll wonder what kind of friend you are if you didn't "have her back" and tell her before she got involved with this guy. You may lose this girlfriend if you're not honest with her.

    I don't know....I value my girlfriends way more than any man (besides my dh). I'd want to be completely honest with my girlfriends.

    I guess I can't give better advice since I feel that the choices you've made led you here. I'm not a hater poster, but I kind of agree with what the first person said.

    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:41 AM on Oct. 12, 2009

  • I want to add...be honest with your male friend too. Tell him to stay away from your girlfriend...as it would make for an awkward triangle. If he's a good friend, he'll respect your wishes.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:42 AM on Oct. 12, 2009

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