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I think he's cheating....

I am so sick to my stomach over this. I cant stop shaking and I'm so upset that I actually got sick. I dont know what to do. I found emails in my fiances inbox from stupid wh*res on craigslist. "wanna meet up?" "yeah i'm totally interested" "we can meet at a hotel and f*ck" i cant find any from him that actually say that he went or not but i dont know what to do. I started working nights so hes home alone on wednesday, thursday, friday, and saturday nights. I wasn't really snooping, he actually left his email up and i saw the emails and clicked on them. There have been other instances like this where i just had saw that he was looking at the craigslist ads and he said he found it amusing so i dismissed it. and there was another time i called him out on some emails and he said he did it to test me. WTF?! i dont know what to do....

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 8:06 AM on Oct. 12, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (16)
  • kick his ass out, seems simple enough to me.

    Answer by jewjewbee at 8:09 AM on Oct. 12, 2009

  • once a cheater always a cheater
    get rid of him

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:14 AM on Oct. 12, 2009

  • OP here....

    part of me just wants to throw him out and never talk to him again
    but then there is that part that doesnt think or doesnt want to believe he's doing anything. crazy, i know. but i love him so much. i just dont get why he would! we were both military and when we couldnt get stationed together, he got out instead of reenlisting and came to live with me. He said he just wanted to be with me. He gave up a steady, nice paycheck and his single life to come live with me in a shitty ass town and work a part time job. If he wanted to sleep around, why didnt he leave me when he had the chance?

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:19 AM on Oct. 12, 2009

  • Don't stick with this guy on top of all the weirdness he's probably dangerous.

    Answer by mommorgan at 8:26 AM on Oct. 12, 2009

  • Honey, my heart is breaking for you. I know how you feel (trust me). But you are so much better off knowing now before you marry him! I know it is easier said than done, but kick him out and then sort out your feelings. If you decide to forgive him and take him back, just know that you will have a long road ahead of you because every little thing will make you doubt everything he says and does, and I hate to say it but it will probably eventually happen again. Do you really want to live like that, waiting for the next shoe to drop? I am SO sorry that you are going through this.

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:29 AM on Oct. 12, 2009

  • OP here

    to the pp...thats what i really want to do, but i cant because if i kick him out, hes gonna leave, and he wont come back. i know he wont.

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:32 AM on Oct. 12, 2009

  • Then if you knwo that then do it now before you get married. If hes not willing to fight for you then why do you want to be with him?

    Answer by Steph319 at 8:41 AM on Oct. 12, 2009

  • Ok, calm down. It sounds like you are over reacting. Unless you know for sure he is cheating then let's not consider leaving or kicking him out. Some men get bored when they are alone and they wonder what's out in the world. They think the Internet is a safe playground. They just want to see if they can still get a women interested in him. Many men have no intention of meeting up with these women. They just like playing with them for the attention. Just tell him to cut it out and that it's a deal breaker with you if he doesn't stop. He may not understand that you don't see it as funny.

    Answer by admckenzie at 11:04 AM on Oct. 12, 2009

  • Sounds to me like you don't want to trust what you see. The 2nd (or 3rd) time he said it was to test you? I smell's called bullsh*t. You've busted him 3 times now on this same issue, and clearly he's not stopping.

    Communicate with him how this behavior is a deal breaker...there's no reason to 'go there' on-line unless he is actively searching. If he's causing you doubt, seeing you're upset, and still not stopping, then why are you wasting your time?

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:34 AM on Oct. 12, 2009

  • Somebody on another site said: "But look at it like this - if you're looking for shoes, do you shove your feet into the first pair that you see, ignoring the fact that they pinch your toes, rub blisters on your heels, and, generally speaking are the ugliest things you've ever seen - but hey - they're shoes! -Or- do you say, ok, I tried this pair on, but they don't fit. No biggie - back on the shelf they go - there's a whole store full of other sizes and styles, and keep looking for a better fit?"

    Honey, there are a lot of shoes out there...find one that doesn't hurt.

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:34 AM on Oct. 12, 2009

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