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Friends who ask too much

i've been doing a friend a favor -- picking up her kid from preschool every day and driving an extra 10 miles to drop her off. the problem is her child is starting to antagonize mine -- in the backseat, in front of me -- calling her "stupid" and a "baby". it is very upsetting for my child. the other child is not respectful when i ask her to stop and despite my mentioning it to her mother, the behavior has not changed. my child is now starting to dread preschool pick up (she's not in the same class with this other gal) because she doesn't want to have to deal with my friends kid, so i told my friend i didn't think the pick up schedule was working for us anymore. She flipped out at me and is taking no responsibility for her child's behavior. i'm sad because we've been friends for a long time, but i really feel like she was asking too much. Am i way off base?.

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 9:04 AM on Oct. 12, 2009 in General Parenting

Answers (6)
  • yes and NO....you are doing this as a favor to your friend...you should stick with it...now also you are in charge when you have this child. is there any way to separate them in the car? or offer insentive if they both behave the entire way home? another thing you could do is when this child starts acting up pull over right away and tell the child we arent moving untill you apologize to her. Its not fair to your daughter, but unfortunately this is stuff she will deal with at school when your not there...the best you can do is nip it in the bud while you can. Also ANY time your friends child acts up tell your friend, if she is doing it as frequently as you say she will get sick of hearing it every day and finally do something about it. In the end it IS up to you to help your friend out or not,maybe all of you, and the kids are to sit down and talk about this....and explain to your friend how much its hurting your daughter
    blueeyedgrl2377

    Answer by blueeyedgrl2377 at 9:11 AM on Oct. 12, 2009

  • I don't think you are. You already said you talked to her mother and you said you talked to the child. She isn't listening. Your friend has no reason to be going off, and by what you say I can see why her child is the way she is.

    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:14 AM on Oct. 12, 2009

  • You don't owe her anything! You were doing it as a favor and she totally disrespected you and your daughter by allowing her kid to bully yours.
    I can't believe she feels she has the right to get mad at you. You are sticking up for your child, they've both been told this is inappropriate behaviour and it continues. I'd be soooo embarrassed and angry at my child if I found out any of them were acting in this way.
    Six_on_my_own

    Answer by Six_on_my_own at 9:46 AM on Oct. 12, 2009

  • no i don't think you are wrong. her kid is being disrespectful and nothing is changing the other mom loses the favor. just sounds like she is throwing an adult size fit for not getting her way. she should be grateful you were willing to do it in the first place.
    nurbabe82

    Answer by nurbabe82 at 9:59 AM on Oct. 12, 2009

  • You are not off base at all. The mother won't correct her childs behavior you don't owe her a thing. Sounds like the child is a lot like mom. I would do what is right for your child the friend can find someone else to pick her child up. If she is mad she only has herself to blame for her poor parenting.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:08 AM on Oct. 12, 2009

  • You are entitled to your feelings. If her child is so disrespectful at the preschool level, then I would be worried about what she will be like in high school. Just say no! Let her freak out. That child is not your responsibility. You need to consider your child above all else. Is this person really worth your own child suffering?
    salexander

    Answer by salexander at 10:50 AM on Oct. 12, 2009

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