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Why do I see this all the time? Does it drive you as crazy?

I am constantly seeing posts on here asking " how can I get my newborn to sleep through the night" "how can I get my baby to eat less often" "how can I make mothering more convenient for me?" It drives me NUTS. Well only really when it seems like the mother is less concerned about what is best for baby and more concerned with what makes HER life easier. Yes we all do things to make it easier, but when it comes to feeding and sleep schedules of newborns why don't people just understand THEY ARE DIFFICULT.Babies eat a lot and don't sleep much! Why did you have a baby if you are just looking for convenience. Maybe I am just judgemental or something and I have days that I wish my kids were easier to deal with, and I am certainly not perfect, but something about the afore mentioned "problems" really bother me, anyone else?


Asked by SweetPea05 at 3:38 PM on Oct. 12, 2009 in Babies (0-12 months)

Level 8 (230 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (35)
  • I think the problem is that everyone has this image of Motherhood By Gerber. You know, that soft-focus, dreamy ideal of mom in white gauze, gazing down adoringly at her sleeping infant?

    Pthththt. That's just someone else's fantasy.

    Real life is more like Roseanne than a rose garden. Real life is a baby who screams and doesn't sleep. Real life is mom in sweats stained with spitup and poop, her hair stringy because she hasn't had enough time to shower!

    Real life doesn't sell, though. Won't sell magazines. Won't sell baby products. And it sure as heck won't sell women on motherhood!

    In the interest of protection of the species, those real life images are hidden until it's already too late! **grin**

    Answer by gdiamante at 3:44 PM on Oct. 12, 2009

  • amen sister. I was thinking the same thing.. really at 4 weeks you're trying to get your baby to sleep through the night come on. There are just a lot of people that didn't need to have children in the first place.

    Answer by mrsjonzy at 3:40 PM on Oct. 12, 2009

  • And she didn't ask anonymously!

    I don't know what's up with moms today. They don't take childbirth classes. Many do little to educate themselves at all about infants.

    I agree with you. I nursed my babies when they were hungry around the clock. They slept next to me. I didn't expect them to sleep through the night until they were 3. I tucked them into a sling to make dinner. Sometimes I would go a week without a shower, or so it seemed. Back in the day.

    Answer by Gailll at 3:46 PM on Oct. 12, 2009

  • Well, I think that CM is a support network, so mom's are supposed to share tips and experiences that might help other moms. I don't see the harm in asking for tips to make your life a bit less hectic. There is so much stress when raising a family, so its nice to hear that you're not alone when dealing w/ the difficulties of motherhood.

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:47 PM on Oct. 12, 2009

  • gdiamante- you are hilarious! thank you! LOL That was awesome and sums it up perfectly! I have decided there should be an application process, or at least and anti delusion class to wake parents up LOL. Gah I mean I in no way knew exactly to expect, but I did not expect a newborn to eat 2x a day and sleep all night long! Although I was not quite prepared for the variety of projectile bodily fluids that a baby so easily produces! LOL

    Answer by SweetPea05 at 3:47 PM on Oct. 12, 2009

  • No, people who judge other moms for trying to find a less stressfull way to raise thier kids drive me nuts. I'm sure there are questions that you have once asked that probably sounded selfish to someone else. To me, it sounds like another mom asking for advice. If you cant give the advice then you certinatly dont need to be in here judging other moms for just trying to be moms. My first son slept through the night when he was only 2 weeks old. My daughter did not and I though there was something I'm a bad mother for wondering what I did wrong? No, I'm not a perfect mother either but I certinatly do not judge other moms for trying to find a way to destress situations. I have 3 kids and one on the way, theres BOUND to be a stressful situation and I guess I wont be comming to Cafemom to ask for advice because of people like you!!!

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:47 PM on Oct. 12, 2009

  • I don't believe in the anonymous button I could care less if someone on the internet doesn't like what I have to say, I am what I am and think what I think with no shame! I am me hear me roar!

    Anon- there is asking for tips, which I am all for and I do, and then there is pure selfishness, like expecting a brand new baby to eat on a schedule convenient for you and sleep through the night.

    Answer by SweetPea05 at 3:50 PM on Oct. 12, 2009

  • Once again, I am not talking about asking for advice. I am talking about the moms who expect their newborns to act differently than a newborn does! The mom's who think a one month old should cio, do i believe in cio? Yeah when a child is old enough. The moms who do things hazardous to their childrens health to make their life easier. Have I asked question that sounded selfish? I am sure, am I perfect no freaking way! But if someone points out the error of my way I would be damned sure to fix it!

    Answer by SweetPea05 at 3:53 PM on Oct. 12, 2009

  • Are you kidding me? What do you think a schedule is for?? No, not a newborn but yes, shortly after being born you should have your baby on a schedule. All babies do is eat and sleep, putting them on a schedule isnt rocket science. And if someone is asking for a schedule that is convenient for them I dont see what the big deal is. YOU have to be there to feed the baby, diaper the baby and put the baby to sleep...there for being on the same schedule as the baby is nessisary.

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:55 PM on Oct. 12, 2009

  • I am talking about the moms asking why their babies eat so much! BECAUSE THEY ARE BABIES! for pete's sake I am not talking about the basics of mothering, I believe in schedules my kids were on one, I don't know why these anonymous' are all up in arms. Clearly there is a difference between "What is a good schedule for baby" "and how can I get baby to eat less because I don't want to feed every two hours". None of you can deny there are the kinds of mothers I am talking about, the ones that ONLY care what is convenient for them. Don't make my question out to be more than it is. There are "i need some help" questions and there are "babies are hard I don't wanna do it" questions. Back off and quit hiding behind the anonymous button!

    Answer by SweetPea05 at 4:06 PM on Oct. 12, 2009