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DH disrespects you....

So, you stop respecting him. Now you're at a point where neither person is showing respect for the other. Who has to start respecting the other inorder to get both of you respecting the other?
Let's say your DH disrespected you by talking to his ex and lying about it and calling 800 sex lines and having them send naked pictures to him. Also had the internet on his computer set to automatically set to delete the browser history and refuses to tell you why. All of this in about a month's time. And happened 2 weeks after you got back in town from leaving for a month and a half because he was "sexting" some girl. You've showed you don't put up with the BS and he continues doing these things. So, 2 questions, do you ever start respecting him and do you think he has a sexual problem? Yes this is about my husband and yes, I think he is a sex addict. But I don't think he finds me attractive anymore(I'm 8 months pregnant).

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 7:12 PM on Oct. 12, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (13)
  • I think you need to tell him that he needs to get counseling for his addiction or you will leave. If he loves you, and wants to fix his problem, then he will agree to the counseling and do his best to improve his behavior.
    If he's too addicted to his sexual fantasies then he wont get the counseling OR he will get the counseling and complain the whole time, and not make an effort.

    If he chooses the later, then leave.
    outstandingLove

    Answer by outstandingLove at 7:16 PM on Oct. 12, 2009

  • tough situation. sounds like he's being an ass. Sounds like he may have a sex addiction. have you confronted him? Do you think he'd get help? If not, it may be on you to decide whether or not to stay in such a marriage. Sounds like you've tried to tell him it's no good but he's not listening. Would he do counseling? It sounds more about him than you. I'm sorry.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:16 PM on Oct. 12, 2009

  • Uhm... as far as I'm concerned, if I were in your shoes. DH doesn't deserve respect OR a second chance.
    That's one too many boo-boo's he's done to the relationship, and I consider most, if not all of what he's done as cheating.
    You asked him to stop, and he continues.

    He might possibly be a sex addict, sure, but... he's not really wanting to take the necessary steps to diagnose himself properly and get the proper help he needs. Even if he didn't... marriage counseling and individual would help immensely.
    I guess it would depend on a lot of factors if I wanted to continue my relationship with him as man and wife, but.. more than likely, no. That's just a huge breach of trust to me.
    K_Sawyer

    Answer by K_Sawyer at 7:18 PM on Oct. 12, 2009

  • i would get a divorce if i was you.
    PURPULbutterfly

    Answer by PURPULbutterfly at 7:19 PM on Oct. 12, 2009

  • Well you know it is not gonna get any better if he doesn't get help for this. Leave him and do what you have to do to take care of you and the baby. Respecting him I would give him any respect what so ever he has no respect for you so why the hell should ou give it to him? GL THIS IS NOT YOUR FAULT.
    raemommy

    Answer by raemommy at 7:20 PM on Oct. 12, 2009

  • There comes a point when it's just one thing too many. I think you've reached that point.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:21 PM on Oct. 12, 2009

  • respect yourself, and leaving him for doing these things before shows that you do
    he at least has to make an effort, which it sounds like he is not
    sorry, you have to go through this,
    but you can not make a realtionship work well when one of you is trying to destroy it
    you could do everything possible, but if he is set is destroying, it will be destroyed
    boredmom44

    Answer by boredmom44 at 7:26 PM on Oct. 12, 2009

  • If he isn't willing to admit that what he is doing is wrong, he will never respect you.
    Jademom07

    Answer by Jademom07 at 7:28 PM on Oct. 12, 2009

  • First, it sounds like he has a problem and needs help. He has to want to get it though. Second, you need to respect yourself (which for the record, I think you do, you've already left once) and leave him. If he's willing to get help, then stay by his side, but if he isn't willing to help himself, do you really want to continue to live like this...always doubting, always not trusting, always questioning your own worth? Do you want your child raised in that environment.

    Sexual addiction is real. He sounds like he needs help. I'm sorry you're going through all this, but only you can choose how you're going to continue to live.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:34 PM on Oct. 12, 2009

  • I think it's more about attention than it is about sex. Men hate being alone and they find playmates online or wherever and crave the attention. He probably doesn't really do anything with them
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 9:10 PM on Oct. 12, 2009

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