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New girl just added to my Girl Scout Troop is disrespectful and mean - how to approach parents?

Hello!

This is my fourth year as a GS Leader. I said yes to accepting a new girl and she was at our latest meeting. She interrupted everyone, put them down, talked constantly, got up constantly, wanted another snack, another drink, and was just downright mean.

How would you approach the parents? Say GS may not be for her, try something more athletic? Say she has one more chance but needs to behave? Or three strikes of disruptive behavior at future meetings and they need to pick her up?

Thanks!

 
FiveofHearts

Asked by FiveofHearts at 10:12 PM on Oct. 12, 2009 in School-Age Kids (5-8)

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Answers (10)
  • Maybe the girl doesn't WANT to be there, which is why she kept disobeying the rules even after they were clearly stated and agreed upon. If her parents don't stay, then maybe it's because they were looking for a free "babysitter" once a week or however many times you guys meet so they could have a night out.

    I would talk to her and parents about her behavior and warn her that one more violation will mean her removal. ..If she really wants to be there I think she'll learn to behave. If she wants to get out for whatever reason then she may purposely act up again just so she doesn't have to be there.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:31 PM on Oct. 13, 2009

  • How old is she? cant you explain the rules to her and her mother and see what happens? some people just dont know good manners ....and you need to set them straight (and of course role model the behavior you expect)
    MELRN

    Answer by MELRN at 10:15 PM on Oct. 12, 2009

  • The girl is 9. It's slightly funny because we made a Troop Agreement at the meeting on things we should do: listen, not put other people down, etc., and she kept doing it afterwards.

    But I can make a hard document for her parents of expected behaviors and make it clear that disruptive behavior won't be tolerated.

    The group now though has such a great dynamic and I can see the other girls suffer if this one keeps up the behavior. I had a girl like this the first year and a lot of the nicer girls dropped out. I don't want that to happen or to spend the meetings saying "stop, don't, no" again. Being a leader doesn't pay enough at this point! :)
    FiveofHearts

    Answer by FiveofHearts at 10:22 PM on Oct. 12, 2009

  • To the group as a whole, so as not to single her out, make sure you clearly state the rules of Girls Scouts as well as basic manners, respect, etc. These types of things should be taught over and over with the girls anyway. Try that for a few weeks and if it doesn't do much, then approach the parents....if she doesn't drop out first.
    EireLass

    Answer by EireLass at 10:24 PM on Oct. 12, 2009

  • I was actually hoping she'd have already dropped out with all the complaining she was doing. :) Not trying to be mean, it just takes hours to get a meeting ready and a waste of my time to have someone talk over me and argue.
    FiveofHearts

    Answer by FiveofHearts at 3:37 AM on Oct. 13, 2009

  • Can you make the parents stay at the meeting with her? Then you can concentrate on the other girls. We had to do that at a Cub Scout den meeting and the "trouble" kids didn't come back because their parents didn't want to stay with them.

    Cindy18

    Answer by Cindy18 at 7:06 AM on Oct. 13, 2009

  • According to all the GS 'stuff', continued behavior like this is reason to excuse her from the troop. It's a 3 strike situation.
    I would let mom know that you are having trouble and ask her to sit down with her DD and go over the GS law and what each line means.
    Make sure you let her know if it continues....each time.... CYA
    Hard to have fun with one acting out. I have one too.
    mnrsmom900

    Answer by mnrsmom900 at 7:50 AM on Oct. 13, 2009

  • i am also a girl scout leader and i tell you nothing has good has ever became of girl scouts...there is to much drama.and of course these days the other mothers get involved and thats it.so i told my daughter we would do girl scouts this year on a got nothing better to do basis.but as for you we had the same problem.we felt the other girls were following this one girl.so in order to settle down the whole troop we had to settle down this one girl.we were nice but aggressive telling her she had to sit down she had to stop talking. and on it went.she dropped out this yr cause she is way to cool.oh well
    nana77500

    Answer by nana77500 at 8:13 AM on Oct. 13, 2009

  • Thanks so much ladies! My assistant couldn't be there at this last meeting and I talked to her about it. She's a lot tougher than I am and said she'll be there from now on and help me sit on this girl so she doesn't ruin it for the others (like we had the first year - but that was kindergarten not 3rd grade girls!).

    And I really did think Girl Scouts was just supposed to be fun! Not for me really, but the girls. But too much emphasis - at least in our council - on sale sale sale and cutting activities before the recession, etc.
    FiveofHearts

    Answer by FiveofHearts at 2:15 PM on Oct. 13, 2009

  • Instead of signalling her out, have a talk to all the girls and their parents about respect, what is appropriate and acceptable behavior and what will happen when the inappropriate behaviors are repeatedly displayed. Have a behavior contract printed out and have the parents and girls sign the contracts so there are NO questions later when you have to tell the parents that their daughter can no longer attend meetings. This is a good opportunity to teach the girls to work together, about respect and manners.
    tyfry7496

    Answer by tyfry7496 at 2:18 PM on Oct. 13, 2009

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