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How can I deal with him cheating on me? (might be a bit long)

I am currently 4 months pregnancy and i am having some issues with my baby's father/ boyfriend. Ok so before i got pregnant, he cheated on me twice with his ex girlfriend (who by the way has a son with him). Ok so now she is about 5 mnths pregnant. I am trying my best to forgive him for what he did but a part of me jsut can't forget about it. Anyways apart from that, he tells me he wants us to make it work. a part of me wants to becuz i don not wanna go through this by myself, but another part of me is scared to get stay with him cuz im terrified he's gonna cheat on me again. This is my issue with him, sometimes he can be so sweet and caring and romantic and at other times he can get very distant and quiet. I dunno what to think. I know he's going thru a lot with this other girl being pregnant too, but i wish he would talk to me about his problem. I feel like he's jus playing with my emotions and i don't know what to do.

Answer Question
 
prissysafo

Asked by prissysafo at 9:44 AM on Oct. 13, 2009 in Relationships

Level 1 (0 Credits)
Answers (8)
  • leave him, yes he will cheat again. If he's already done it more than once but makes you think for any reason he won't again.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:51 AM on Oct. 13, 2009

  • if you can't trust him, it's not gonna work. you're going to torture yourself over that event. if you want to forgive him and try to make it work, that's your decision, BUT, then you need to LET IT GO and really forgive him---otherwise your relationship is doomed to fail. Talk about it with him if you need to, do what you need to do to put that event at peace. But once you forgive him, there's no going back---it needs to stay in the past.

    but in my opinion, he's a loser anyway. he obviously can't make a committment OR control himself.

    You need to be putting that baby first now. It's not about you anymore and you need to do what's best for that baby and yourself.
    carliemarie1015

    Answer by carliemarie1015 at 9:55 AM on Oct. 13, 2009

  • one thing im wondering...this other girl that is pregnant...is it his? if so even if you decide to try to make the relation work you will also have to come to terms with him seeing this lady often since it is his kid she is carrying....thats going to be extremly difficult...you have to decide if you want to do that for the rest of your life...knowing that the woman he cheated on you with will always be a part of it wether or not you want it to happen...its going to be difficult...
    blueeyedgrl2377

    Answer by blueeyedgrl2377 at 10:04 AM on Oct. 13, 2009

  • He needs to have a vasectomy and you need to move on... Have more respect for yourself and your unborn baby. He's already proven himself. Now show your baby that you can stand on your own and not have to rely on a man for your happiness. Sorry if that was harsh...
    MrsLeftlane

    Answer by MrsLeftlane at 10:11 AM on Oct. 13, 2009

  • if you do not leave him now, you are certainly going to regret it later. Work on getting on your own two feet. You can find someone eventually who will respect you.
    samurai_chica

    Answer by samurai_chica at 10:42 AM on Oct. 13, 2009

  • ok, here's the deal. He's a BF. that makes him single n can do whatever he wants. he has not taken vows 2 forsake all others so he didn't cheat on u. he was just bein a man. he's not seeing it as cheatin so u shouldn't either. u made a bad choice to have a kid with a man who was not committed 2 u
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:16 AM on Oct. 13, 2009

  • ok, I"m just gonna say this outright cuz its what went through my head when I read your question. Sorry, I"m not one to sugarcoat it. For the rest of your life, and your child's life, you are going to have to live with the fact that your child has a brother or sister that is only a month older than he/she is. Is that something you are willing to deal with? You are going to have to deal with this other woman for the rest of your life if you stay with him. He's not going to forget about her and his other (now it's 2?) kids, and if the 'desire' was there to make this one she's pregnant with, then having her around is always going to affect you two. I wouldn't trust him, in my experience once a cheater always a cheater. I've been there too many times, I wouldn't trust him for anything. If you want to try, make him earn it, don't be wiling to give in easily, and be prepared for a long hard struggle ahead. IMO your better off alone.
    kristal2146

    Answer by kristal2146 at 12:09 PM on Oct. 13, 2009

  • i was kind of in the same situation not too long ago, heres my story, my bf of 3 years was going behind my back talkin to his ex, now they dont have a kid nor did i ever 100% find out he cheated but she told me they hooked up he swears on our son he didnt. trust me, this girl is never going to leave his life, ESPECIALLY if hes got a kid with her already AND he got her pregnant and then you!!!! you sound way too smart to be dealing with a fool and that what this kid is...a straight fool. you will be better off without him, let him see your child (if hes a good father and trustworthy with his kids) and move on with your life. youll find someone one day who treats you like a princess and loves you and would never do anything to hurt you. thats what you deserve and thats what your child deserves also. do whats best for your baby 1st and you 2nd.
    lululovexox

    Answer by lululovexox at 1:52 PM on Oct. 13, 2009

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