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Would you be offended?

To make a long story short one of my best girlfriends is 30, lives at home, no bills,not married(has a boyfriend),etc. Anyway I always listen to her complain about this and that ALL the time, and even though I get sick of hearing about it I still am supportive and either text or talk to her about it. She went through 2 yrs of school and everday it was some sort of complaint, and she's always bitching about her future MIL. Anyway, the other day I was PMS'ing and felt emotional and my child was having these horrible tantrums and I text her something personal about how I felt about my relationship with my husband and she text me back you to find time for yourselves. So I said yes I know it's just hard trying to find time. Well her reply back just made me SOO PISSED. She says "Well that's what it is being a wife and mother." I was thinking to myself HELL NO she just didn't say that. I NEVER EVER complain about my life to her.

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 10:41 AM on Oct. 13, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (9)
  • OP HERE CONT: If she was a wife and mother I would take it better, but she is NEITHER and has no clue what I am talking about. I was just looking for her support the one time I needed it and she just was being a bitch!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:43 AM on Oct. 13, 2009

  • I've had a couple of friends like that. They only see things from their side, expect you to be supportive, but don't ever want to return it. If things aren't about them, they don't want to talk about it. Eventually, I got tired of the one sided relationships, and decided I preferred friendships that went both ways.

    I do have one friend that I've stayed friends with for nearly 30 years, that is like that. I've known her so long that I just can't bring myself to dump her, but I have to admit that I rarely call her anymore.

    Friendship should be a 2 way street. You'll have to decide if your willing to drive one way only...her way.....Good Luck!

    And by the way, you're right it is hard to find time for yourself. Maybe a good friend would offer to babysit so that you could get a break and pamper yourself a little instead of being so insensitive!
    ohwrite

    Answer by ohwrite at 10:49 AM on Oct. 13, 2009

  • She sounds a bit self absorbed.  I hate it when those who don't have children or just had a baby try to tell my how to raise my 8 and 9 year olds.  As well as those who just get married trying to give my marital advice. I would tell her how you feel about the whole situation.  GL

    luvmygrlz

    Answer by luvmygrlz at 10:50 AM on Oct. 13, 2009

  • OP Here:: Thanks ladies. She is a bit self-absorbed. She is a very good person, but when it comes down to it she has NO CLUE on Marriage and Kids. I have a 3 yr old and been married 3 yrs with my hubs for 7 yrs. I am no expert, but I know I have more knowledge then her right now. She told me once she was dog sitting for her sister, and was pissed because she had to get up at 5am to clean up doggie throw up. I was like are you kidding me? What the hell does she think a kid will be like.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:54 AM on Oct. 13, 2009

  • next time she complains to you say "well that's what it's like". She sounds a bit selfish.
    samurai_chica

    Answer by samurai_chica at 10:59 AM on Oct. 13, 2009

  • She made an observation. That's all. I can't see how the statement was offensive.
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 11:05 AM on Oct. 13, 2009

  • You should not be too buddy buddy with her if what she said bothers you .I guess texting can lead to tmi. Keep some things to yourself.
    bella69147

    Answer by bella69147 at 11:33 AM on Oct. 13, 2009

  • I have a "friend" like that also. I am always there for her no matter what, and listen to her complain and whine about all of the guys she's screwing etc. But when I need someone to talk to she will actually ignore what I'm saying or even be like yea.. and go on about her self. I've come to the realization that I'm no longer being there for her, nor am I really talking to her anymore. Friends are supposed to be supportive and encouraging, but when their dragging you down or even making rude assumptions, it's not a friendship! Friendship goes 2 ways, not one way !
    amber_1024

    Answer by amber_1024 at 11:45 AM on Oct. 13, 2009

  • Sorry, but I think it's very unfriednly to make a comment like that. She should have chosen better words to use. Like, "I'm so sorry you feel that way, but some times it can be hard to be a mom and wife."
    luvbnmomnwife

    Answer by luvbnmomnwife at 6:46 PM on Oct. 13, 2009

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