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Am i right for being mad about this?

Dh is in the army. He ecided to reenlist. That i was fine with. But he just tells me today that he is going to request to stay here. Although he has been talking for months about going to a new duty station. I hate it here. I have told him that many times. But he still signed to stay here. He asked my why i dont like it here and this is what i told him. The land lord does not return my calls let alone answer them unless DH is calling. The guy living next door just got out of prison. The weather is crap. Its always raining so i cant even go for a walk. I dont know anyone aside from the people he works with. There is nothing to do because it is such a small town. And the list goes on and on. And he had the nerve to ask me what i wanted him to do. He said that we could either go somewhere else and he will get deployed or we could stay here and he shouldnt get deployed for about a year. And i told him thats not a fair thing..cont.

 
Shelii

Asked by Shelii at 11:50 AM on Oct. 13, 2009 in Relationships

Level 21 (11,389 Credits)
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Answers (9)
  • I think you have to just realize that right now the best thing is to stay put. I am sure your DH is not happy where he is either but being deployed is a scary thought, and the chance of something happening to him over there is greater and you wouldn't want that to happen. When the war is over you could move, or you can make plans that if he gets deployed you can move. I think you should just love and support him. Make him a nice dinner and tell him you appreciate what he scarfices for this country and that you can wait to move. Good luck.
    abbyg

    Answer by abbyg at 1:58 PM on Oct. 13, 2009

  • Thats not a fair thing to ask me because i dont want him to get deployed but at the same time i dont want to stay here. So either way it sucks....either we stay here and i hate it or we go somewhere else and he gets deployed and i hate it....ugh then he made me out to be the bad guy because i told him that i dont like it here and i want to go somewhere else. So he turned it on me and told me that i just want him to get deployed and he knows thats not it! Ugh am i right to be mad at him about this. He told me this today and he just signed the papers. He has been talking for months about going to a new place and now he tells me today that he has been thinking about staying here for about 2 months now! UGH
    Shelii

    Answer by Shelii at 11:53 AM on Oct. 13, 2009

  • I would be mad...he isn't taking your feeling into consideration.
    mominbolt

    Answer by mominbolt at 11:56 AM on Oct. 13, 2009

  • What do you want him to do? Did you ever answer him? Do you know what you want him to do. It sounds to me like he is damned if he does and damned if he doesn't. Can you move to another place? Surely there are other apartments, condo's and/or house's out there for rent. Can you get involved with an a group? PTO?
    kc932

    Answer by kc932 at 12:00 PM on Oct. 13, 2009

  • There is no other place to move into. We just had about 4 units get back from iraq and all the houseing is gone nothing is avaliable. Trust me i have been looking for a few months now. I would join a group But i would have no way to get there. We live 20 min form post because there was no place closer to live. And how am i suposed to answer that?...tell him yea we need to move and you get deployed...like i said i told him that i dont want to stay here but at the same time i dont want him to get deployed...either way he will get deployed...it just might happen a little sooner if we go to a new duty station.
    Shelii

    Answer by Shelii at 12:03 PM on Oct. 13, 2009

  • Well, I would not sign a lease with that place (just do a month to month until you can find a better place). I would tell him that you want to move. Tell him that you love him and don't want him to go sooner than later but that in the long run you think it would be better to go ahead and move because you are so unhappy. I guess my fear would be that I would be just as miserable in the next town.
    kc932

    Answer by kc932 at 12:08 PM on Oct. 13, 2009

  • Your such a bitch . OMG....poor you ! You hate were you live. He is a hero who is serving our country and just to make YOU happy you want to move so he could be deployed and have a 50/50 chance of DYING...is that what you want for him to die? I FEEL SO SORRY FOR HIM. STOP WHINNING and go give your man a hug and a kiss and tell him THANK YOU FOR BEING A HERO. And tell him you know how much he scarifies for OUR COUNTRY and that you can scarfice a little too. That you can stay in this little boring town which you hate with a SMILE and then after he gets deployed or the war is over (which ever comes first) THEN you can move. STOP WHINNING. STAND next to your man and support him, and love him and when the time comes he will stand next to you and support you. If you keep WHINNING AND BITCHING then you will loose respect in his eyes, and one day when you need support he will be gone.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:46 PM on Oct. 13, 2009

  • Gee thanks anon...And just so you know i was in the fucking army! I know what its like i was deployed before i had to get out! And like i said before no i dont want him to get deployed. Your calling me a bitch and have you even looked at what your answer was. Im always going to stand next to my husband and support him. But when he will still get deployed even if we stay here then why the hell should i have to suffer here when he will be deployed no matter where he will go. They are already talking about deploying him Dec. 20th. So why stay here? And by the way thank you so much for being a bitch about it.
    Shelii

    Answer by Shelii at 10:13 AM on Oct. 14, 2009

  • Why don't you live on base housing?
    Chrissy629

    Answer by Chrissy629 at 10:37 AM on Oct. 16, 2009

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