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tough home life

So my husband is a student currently so he is always home. In the meantime, I work all day and take care of the house and our daughter. When we are both home, we fight over the most ridiculous things because he is really edgy. I am almost always the calm rational one trying to put out his fires but i'm really tired of fighting and i'm tired of defending myself all the time. I really need for him to get out of the house and give me some alone time to just relax and do what I would do if he wasn't constantly lounging on the couch... Any suggestions?

 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 1:45 PM on Oct. 13, 2009 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (6)
  • I think it would help if you reminded yourself that this is a temporary situation. Your husband will not always be in school. Also, remind yourself that it takes two to argue. Learn to walk away rather than get in a fuss. If he won't leave the house, then take your child and get out for a while. Do something fun. One thing I've learned in almost 45 years of marriage is that whenever there is a problem, it is seldom 100% the fault of one party. We continuously contribute to the tensions and problems in marriage, all the while thinking that we are the totally innocent ones. It is very helpful just to step away from the tensions and very objectively look at the part you played in the onset of it. It is perfectly acceptable to do that, and you just may learn some things about yourself as well as about your husband.
    NannyB.

    Answer by NannyB. at 2:20 PM on Oct. 13, 2009

  • yep, stop fighting. You are responsible for your own stress. It takes two to have an argument. Don't give him a reply when he starts his crap. If you MUST fight then pick your battles.
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 1:49 PM on Oct. 13, 2009

  • Sounds like you made a bad choice in a husband. I don't know what to tell you? Tell him to get up and be a man. To go get a job and help out around the house if he wanted to go to school he should of done it before he had a wife and a child. If he is a hard worker he can work in the day time and go to school at night....or work at night and go to school in the day time...millions of americans do it. I would make it an ultimatium...it's not good for you child to see you fighting all the time. Go to your moms for the weekend and get some tlc. good luck
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:51 PM on Oct. 13, 2009

  • You know how you ignore a child with a temper tantrum. Do the same with him. Just walk away.


    Also, give him a list of chores to do.

    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:57 PM on Oct. 13, 2009

  • Wow. I would say that since you are working and he is going to school he needs to help you around the house and wih your daughter ...ask him for his help and also tell him you need one hour a day of quiet after a long day of working and ask for his help. If he refuses then I think you have a big decision to make about what kind of man you are with. Good luck
    abbyg

    Answer by abbyg at 2:00 PM on Oct. 13, 2009

  • This is what I would do - explain that since he is home, you need him to help out. If you can't sit on the couch because his is lounging on it, he can get up and do something. Being a student is one thing but if he has got time to take up the couch, he can get a part time job or help out around the house. And this might just be me, but it can definitely be one person causing the problem. Your story is a prime example. You work and still take care of everyone and everything at home while he goes to school and then spends the rest of the time sitting around. That is a recipe for trouble. My advice is to sit down and calmly explain your feelings. Hopefully he will be calm and you two can reach a solution.
    wildflowers25

    Answer by wildflowers25 at 2:50 PM on Oct. 13, 2009

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