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Is it ok that my one year old wants to play alone?

We live in a small two bedroom apartment. His bedroom is the room next to the living room...meaning I can see into his room..and hear everything. Anyways, He has got to where he really likes his TV (cartoons). He isnt obsessed..but does love the colors. I dont think that is a bad thing is it?

And also, when I even try to play with him..he seems uninterested..he walks off and does his own thing. So I just put the baby gate up..and let him walk around and do his own thing in his room. Everything is completly baby proof. Like now..he is in his room..staring out the window at the rain.

I feel bad at times..b.c if he is busy...I do things around the house..or take a little me time and sit on the computer and check some stuff. Does that make me a bad mom? I have tried to play with him..but he just doesnt repsond..he likes to play alone..and go from toy to toy..is that normal?

Im just new to all this mom stuff..please help!

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mis_mama2be

Asked by mis_mama2be at 2:54 PM on Oct. 13, 2009 in Toddlers (1-2)

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Answers (12)
  • Can we switch kids? lol! My oldest was like that. He was okay to do his own thing. And that's a good thing! My baby however want's held and played with all the time. It causes lots of problems. I wouldn't see anything wrong with him playing alone - as long as he's happy, that's all that matters.
    SabrinaMBowen

    Answer by SabrinaMBowen at 2:58 PM on Oct. 13, 2009

  • Look for a play group to see how he is with other kids. Turn on the T.V only at certain times.
    gammie

    Answer by gammie at 2:59 PM on Oct. 13, 2009

  • My DSS was like this when we had a two bedroom apt, you could see/hear everything from whatever room we were in, he would play in his room all the time by himself, i would say if he is happy, its fine, and savor some of those moments, cuz now dss is 4 and we cant get him to play by himself at all!
    kdpatty

    Answer by kdpatty at 3:07 PM on Oct. 13, 2009

  • Ugh.. I just entered a post today because I my son will NEVER play alone. I always have to "entertain" him or he starts whining. I'd beg for this somedays.. I mean, I love to play with my son but he will NOT play by himself - and TV ? forget it - he could care less.....
    maxsmom11807

    Answer by maxsmom11807 at 3:37 PM on Oct. 13, 2009

  • Well I just wanted to make sure it was normal. My bestfriend and I are fighting right now.... I had sent her an email just telling her some feelings I had..and questions..one being..why she doesnt get in the floor and play with my son? She is supposed to be his GodMother. Anyway..her reply said something along the lines of "I have tried and he wouldnt take his attention away from the TV long enough to play" or something smarta@@ like that. Anyway.. I just wanted to make sure it was normal. I didnt know if I was supposed to be pushing the alphabet down his throat..or just let him play?? He just turned one, Sept 19th. He isnt talking...at all. He just does this really loud yelling thing (which is quite amusing).

    He isnt dumb. I bought him a little helicopter thing..that you put balls in the top. I showed him once..and he knew what to do. Same with other toys. Show him how to do something once...and he has it down. So is that ok
    mis_mama2be

    Answer by mis_mama2be at 3:40 PM on Oct. 13, 2009

  • The desire to play alone wouldn't be fo concern to me but the fact that he won't interact with you should be monitored. You should also be careful how much the TV is on. personally, I didn't let my son watch it at all until he was 18 months then I limited it to 30 minutes of PBS but that was just my approach. i would suggest making an effort to engage him in activities for a bit each day. Something that's of interest to him. If you still can't get him to interact with you, I would mention it to your pediatrician. I'm not saying it is a problem but it can be and your doctor would be in the best position to decide.
    momofryan07

    Answer by momofryan07 at 3:42 PM on Oct. 13, 2009

  • momofryan.....well..he does play with me..but not for a long period of time. Like I will get in the floor with him..and show him how to stack blocks..or what shapes fit into what toy. Then the next day I will go in there and pick out a certain toy (shape)..and hand it to him..and he will go to that toy. And that is how we play for about 20-30 min a day...then I get up and let him play alone...bc he starts to anyways. Does that make sense?

    And with the TV... I think I would be more worried if he got mad when I turned it off. But I think he just likes the colors and things. I let him watch Baby's First TV..then Finding Nemo..Monsters Inc..and Ice Age. I love how he always laughs at a certain part..and I dont think its harmful.

    I just want to know what you did with them ALL day to where they never watched TV? Seriously..did you keep them in there room all day? Please explain bc now I feel like a bad mom..lol
    mis_mama2be

    Answer by mis_mama2be at 4:08 PM on Oct. 13, 2009

  • Not trying to imply you're a bad mom! I know exactly how hard it can be to come up with things to do with a 1 yr old. I chose to avoid TV initially because I didn't want it to become a habit that was hard to break. Sounds like you don't have that issue if he doesn't complain when you shut it off. There are days when my son watches more TV than I'd like just because we're stuck inside and I've run out of ideas. When he was 1, we spent time playing with shape sorters, very basic puzzles, talking about colors, reading simply books (he lasted less than a minute on this initially..). We also spent lots of time outdoors just exploring. Invariably we do something to get out whether it was running an errand, walking a mall (with him in a stroller) just looking at everything, etc just to see new things. We also joined a playgroup as much for my sanity as for him! You just want to make sure that he will interact even briefly.
    momofryan07

    Answer by momofryan07 at 7:56 PM on Oct. 13, 2009

  • Oh no.. I didnt think that hun. I know that everyone raises their kid differently. But I just couldnt see how I baby would never be around TV...lol. I just love TV..always have. I love putting on mozart DVDs and let him watch the shapes and colors. Anywho..I try to play with his with puzzles and things..and like I said.. I show him once..then he does it from that point on. Thing is..he doesnt really play with me..for longer than maybe 10-15 min. So I leave him alone to play..while I sit in the living room...and watch TV..clean the kitchen..or play on here. Just as long as he is happy.. I leave him alone.

    I have also tried to do flash cards..or talk about colors..and he just isnt interested...Is this normal? He isnt talking yet either..but my husband said his brother didnt start to talk till he was 13 months..and he is SUPER smart. So...I just dont know what is considered normal?
    mis_mama2be

    Answer by mis_mama2be at 8:43 PM on Oct. 13, 2009

  • Regarding flash cards...yeah, totally not needed and it's obvious from his disinterest. You are doing just fine. Oh and DD didn't really start to talk until she was 18 months and if you ask me, she's a very smart little girl. =) (she'll be 3 in December) My father is incredibly intelligent and didn't start talking until he was near 4 and Einstein was a late talker also.
    MotherofIreland

    Answer by MotherofIreland at 9:15 PM on Oct. 13, 2009

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