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my husband found a apt 3 blocks away from me,he left me

and im distraught i dont know how to let go.....yet he says he doesnt know if being alone in the apt he will think and realize what a mistake he made,i dont know if that happens if i will take him back,he left me and the kids...

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 5:12 PM on Oct. 13, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (9)
  • I am so sorry. I hope you have some support nearby, I know how hard this is.
    ohwrite

    Answer by ohwrite at 5:16 PM on Oct. 13, 2009

  • It happened to me. It's happened to a lot of women. Men can just up and leave when they feel like it. I'm so sorry.
    Gailll

    Answer by Gailll at 5:16 PM on Oct. 13, 2009

  • My husband left me for a year straight, on and off. I'm talking many, many times. I eventually discovered he was doing it to "show me what I was missing." Ha! The problem was HIM anyway, so it did him NO good. He was just trying to put me in my place so he could get his way with being selfish, and I sit back and be the good little wife who doesn't stand up for myself, and lets him walk all over me while I sat in "fear" that he'd leave. I slapped him with divorce, and he changed his mind real quick. He hasn't left since. In my case, he was simply trying to manipulate and degrade me, and I turned it around on him.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:24 PM on Oct. 13, 2009

  • If he decides he would like to come back you should set up a plan on how things will go. Counseling, therapy whatever. The problems he felt existed didn't just go away because he walked out. That doesn't mean they can't be overcome. Be realistic though. If you still love him and would like to work it out give it everything you have. If you feel like you just can't take him back right now. Wait 6 months and see how you feel. The liklihood is good you will have a definite feeling one way or the other by then. Let him know you want to work it out (if thats what you're thinking) then leave the ball in his court. You can't make him do anything but you've made your wishes known. Don't call and text him unless it has to do with the kids. What I'm saying is don't beg him to come back but be open if he brings it up.
    GrnEyedGrandma

    Answer by GrnEyedGrandma at 5:24 PM on Oct. 13, 2009

  • You take hold of the situation. YOU tell him you will have to think about it if he thinks he wants to come back. Don't call him any more or text or anything. If you have a job, keep working at it, if you don't then now is a good time to get one. Don't beg him to come back, you let him know that you will have to consider the fact that HE walked out.
    pnwmom

    Answer by pnwmom at 5:42 PM on Oct. 13, 2009

  • He left you. He's still close enough he can see the kids. Don't use them as pawns.

    I'm sorry you're going through this.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:48 PM on Oct. 13, 2009

  • Problems in marriage are never 100% to 0% blame, which means simply that both of you have contributed in some way to the separation. Were I in your shoes today, I would use this time apart to assess my own contributions to the problems, and I would be honest enough to ask my husband why he felt the need to move out. Be prepared to hear the truth. Men are so unlike us women, who are always expressing our dissatisfactions with our husbands. Men seldom complain, but they will retreat or withdraw when they feel they can no longer cope with their emotions. This could be the very best thing that will ever happen to your marriage, if you are willing to be honest with yourself and with your husband and if you are willing to perhaps make some changes in yourself and the way you have related to your husband in the past. I do think it is odd that he left without giving any kind of reason. It does seem that he wants to remain close.
    NannyB.

    Answer by NannyB. at 6:25 PM on Oct. 13, 2009

  • DAM ! THERES OTHER FISH IN THE SEA GO GET U A NOTHER MAN AND TELL HIM TO KISS YOUR ASS ,GO GET A DEV- AND MAKE HIM PAY CHILD SUP- AND U CAN DO BETTER ! KEEP YOUR HEAD UP AND TAKE CARE OF THE KIDS ! !
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:11 PM on Oct. 13, 2009

  • He didn't just leave YOU: he left those children too. What a punk.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:35 PM on Oct. 13, 2009

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