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How active is your SO with your LOs?

Mine does absolutely nothing. Its been weeks since he fed our youngest(she's 7 weeks!) and Months since he fed our oldest(16 months) he had the opportunity to fed the oldest but his exact words "I didnt know what to feed her for breakfast". Its been About a month since he changed the youngest on(7 weeks!) and I dont even know how long with the oldest! I'm so frustrated, I wish him parents gave him a good example on how to be a man instead they spoiled the hell outta him and made him not have to do anything!!!!

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Asked by Anonymous at 9:41 AM on Oct. 14, 2009 in General Parenting

Answers (13)
  • Why do you allow it? My DH is totally hands on, I'd say its almost equal (but let's face it, women always do more, lol), but in your situation I would just say, "SO, we have to empty the dishwasher, kids need a bath, dinner has to get started.... (etc... fill in the blank), which do you want to handle? Nagging won't work. Do you ever just come out and nicely ask him to do the things you want him to do? "SO, would you please change the baby, I've got my hands full over here, thanks!" How would he react?

    Answer by gramsmom at 9:55 AM on Oct. 14, 2009

  • When they were babies he changed diapers and gave them bottles but not much else. Now that they are older he basically ignores them except when he is teasing, antagonizing or rough housing. He doesn't cook for them (they get their own food now), kind of helps them with homework but doesn't stop playing his video games to do it, doesn't ever go anywhere alone with them and makes them stay in their room because they annoy him.
    It's getting on my nerves. The most he has done is take our 3yo with him while he was looking for an apt in Milwaukee (we're moving) while the older 3 were in school. I got 2 Wednesdays in a row to myself. 2 days in the last 9 1/2 years.
    Today I asked him to take the kids to school because it was raining and he could drive them. He flat out refused so we walked in the rain (and I'm sick so I came home coughing uncontrollably).

    Answer by justanotherjen at 10:04 AM on Oct. 14, 2009

  • men can be soooo FN LAZY! like, hey, fedd our kid. "what do i make?" uh... FOOD!!! wtf! hello!
    ugh. stupidity... lol.
    but really you should let him know how this make you feel. tell him you didnt make this baby yourself and you ARE NOT a single parent. PARENTS=2 ppl!

    Answer by evilive at 10:04 AM on Oct. 14, 2009

  • My dh is pretty much an equal parent. On weekends he does more with our son than I do - he gets up with him and lets me sleep in every day until he has to go to work and then on Saturdays I can sleep in as late as I want.
    Just talk to him and tell him what you need. Some men need a little push and others need things completely spelled out for him.

    Answer by missanc at 11:11 AM on Oct. 14, 2009

  • My DH is great. I had twins so from the moment we came home from the hospital, he's had to step up and he did everything that I did except nurse. LOL He even got up in the middle of the night while I was home and he had to go to work the next day.Now that they are 7 he's still pretty active.

    He feeds them breakfast in the morning and when I was working, he took them to school, help them get dressed, etc. And on the weekends he cooks us all a big breakfast, plus do all of the daddy duties like fixing things, etc.

    He doesn't help with homework unless we have an occasional project that needs some handyman help.
    So I have no complaints.

    Answer by LadyEb at 11:28 AM on Oct. 14, 2009

  • When he's home he does as much as I do. He changes diapers, feeds them, bathes them, puts them to bed, gets them up, dresses them, etc.

    I am a SAHM so I obviously do more than he does with the kids and house, but helps out as much as he can.

    I would think that just talking to him and telling him exactly what you need him to do would help.

    Answer by Cavalrybaby02 at 11:35 AM on Oct. 14, 2009

  • Didn't you notice how unhelpful he was with #1 before you decided to have #2 "? Or was it different? My husband is very invovled with play and fun but I am the one doing the baths, feeding, Dr appts, errand running, cleaning up after us all - but.. .he's also VERY apperciative of it and that helps SOMEWHAT>haha... we have a good balance though in our own way

    Answer by maxsmom11807 at 11:36 AM on Oct. 14, 2009

  • Wow. I couldn't put up with that. My husband is extremely hands on has been since day one. He changes diapers when he is home makes bottles for the baby lunch for the toddler etc. He works and goes to school full time so he isn't home much but when he is he spends as much time with his kids as possible. If he is home and the baby is fussy he is quick to grab her and snuggle her and when the toddler wants to play he gets right down on the floor and plays with her! I guess I am just really blessed with a man who is an amazing father!

    Answer by SweetPea05 at 12:02 PM on Oct. 14, 2009

  • My husband has always been a good father. His company gave him 6 weeks paid leave after the birth of our son. He took the entire 6 weeks off and pampered me the entire time. The first two weeks he was up every night allowing me to rest and heal from the birth. He would bring him to me to feed and he changed most of the diapers. He cleaned, cooked and was such an active husband and father. The last 4 weeks home we shared everything. When he did go back to work I was so well rested it was really easy to be home alone with our son. He has continued this for the last 7 years being a very active and loving father and husband. When he gets home from work he changes and immediately plays with our son. I know he is tired but he loves his son more. He spends every second he can with our son and with me. I could not imagine being with a man who treated our child or me as a burden and did not participate in our family.

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:16 PM on Oct. 14, 2009

  • The kid's dad only sees them for like 4 hours once a week and he gets pissy because he has to change 2 whole diapers and help our 2 year old use the potty. We're getting divorced with the way he interacts with his children being a big reason why so I suppose I'm no help lol.

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:26 PM on Oct. 14, 2009

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