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Should I just let him cry?

My 3 week old son has been crying for the last hour and a half despite my efforts of consoling him. I've fed him, changed his diaper, checked for "hair tourniquets" and everything else I can think of, and he's still crying. Is it okay to just let him cry?

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Asked by ArmyM0mmy2Be at 12:31 PM on Oct. 14, 2009 in Babies (0-12 months)

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Answers (19)
  • I have 5 children and i never let any of them cry and def not that little. He needs something. maybe not a bottle or a burp but he needs mommy. It can get hard bcuz your trying everything but he is your son. You need to find what works. I had a baby that had colic really bad and all he did was CRY. I had to hold him in front of me for yours and just lift him up and down till he stopped. I later found out he was alergic to the milk. Now imagine if i would have just let him cry!! He was in pain. Just something to think about. I wish you the best and congrats on your new baby!!

    Answer by Mrs.Oriaku at 12:35 PM on Oct. 14, 2009

  • NO... He's too little to let him cry.. at this age he's crying because something is wrong, it could be COlic if it seems to be happening more, my son had colic and it does get hard but just bounce and rock and sing and keep track of how often it happens.. could it be something you ate if you BF? or the formula if you FF? They don't Cry to see if you come to them til after 6 months of age, crying before that is because they NEED you !!!

    Answer by maxsmom11807 at 12:35 PM on Oct. 14, 2009

  • I don't think so, personally. If you could only communicate by crying and were dependant on one person to meet all your needs and they ignored you when you were trying to tell them you needed something... you'd lose your trust for that person. That's what happens when babies cry and cry and mommy ignores them. They don't stop crying because they "learn to self-soothe" they stop crying because they know their needs wont' be met anyway. If nothing else just hold him and sing or try dancing or walking with him in your arms. Run some water, play some white noise or talk in a soothing voice with him tucked against your chest.

    Now if you're at the end of your rope that's a different story. Find someone else to take him or put him in a safe place and take a break. Give yourself five or ten minutes and try something else.

    Good luck mamma!

    Answer by Ati_13 at 12:37 PM on Oct. 14, 2009

  • You might try taking off his clothes and putting on a blouse and leaving the buttons open and having skin to skin contact. You could sit in a recliner or walk with him. A sling would be great.

    Answer by Gailll at 12:42 PM on Oct. 14, 2009

  • wow ati 13.. that was a really good answer!!

    Answer by Mrs.Oriaku at 12:46 PM on Oct. 14, 2009

  • Wow. I can't believe you would even consider letting a newborn just cry. You need to find out what's wrong. If your baby doesn't stop crying even if you're holding and rocking him and he's clean and well fed, then something is very wrong. Try burping and offering gas drops. Try walking around the room with him. He may be sick. He may be allergic to his formula.

    If I wasn't able to get my 3 week old to stop crying, I wouldn't be thinking about having him cry it out. Instead, I'd be considering a visit to the pediatrician.

    Answer by ThrivingMom at 12:49 PM on Oct. 14, 2009

  • Well, obviously I don't want to just let him cry, ThrivingMom. If I did, I wouldn't be asking for help and advice. What part of "I've tried everything I can think of to console him" did you not understand? There's no need to be rude when someone is asking for help. If you knew you were just going to be rude about it, why did you even post?

    Answer by ArmyM0mmy2Be at 12:55 PM on Oct. 14, 2009

  • I'm with ati and was about to post that before I read it. If you get to the point where you NEED a break, take it. Walk away for 10 minutes. Even in my attachment parenting classes, the teacher said sometimes you have to just take a minute to get it together. I'm sure I will get slammed for this, but I have, after hours of screaming, gotten to the point where I just can't handle it. Somewhere in my being I have the urge to shake this precious baby. I would NEVER do it, but sometimes you need to walk away and get it together.

    Answer by jdanielle82 at 12:57 PM on Oct. 14, 2009

  • Another thing i found that helped when my ds was colicky and I had done EVERYTHING I could think of was just to tell myself it wasn't me. It wasn't my failure as a mommy. He was going to cry whether I held him or not, but I know I would feel better if I was crying and being held than if I wasn't. I tried to take away the imperative need to stop the crying and just hold and comfort him as he cried. As moms we always want to make it all better, but maybe all you can do is make it a little better by cuddling and loving him. hth. It will get better momma

    Answer by jdanielle82 at 1:02 PM on Oct. 14, 2009

  • Oher ideas that helped me when my baby was super fussy was a sling, bouncing on an exercise ball, telling her the story of her birth (I think it was just that I was talking in a low, soothing voice, but it was a long story so I talked for a long time), swaddling, the football clutch hold (baby's head by your elbow, laying facedown on your arm), laying with her, skin to skin contact. Lots of patience.

    In my case the problem was that I had a foremilk/hindmilk imbalance and she was getting all the watery foremilk. She was also swallowing a lot of air because my letdowns were so forceful. So she was gassy and not getting enough fatty hindmilk. Could that be a problem with your little one?

    Answer by Ati_13 at 1:13 PM on Oct. 14, 2009

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