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Should a mom give candy or toys to the child to calm the child's tantrum?

I feel like s** right now. My son had a tantrum today because I wouldn't buy him a toy.

A middle age lady approach me and my "crying-out-loud" toddler to tell me that my son looked like he was grasping for air and that I should give him a chocolate or toy. My response was to get away as far as possible from the annoyance (the lady)

5 minutes later my son calm his self down but I feel like I want to cry forever.

Could this lady be right? Should I have given my son candy to make him stop crying and acting up.


Asked by Anonymous at 2:13 PM on Oct. 14, 2009 in Toddlers (1-2)

This question is closed.
Answers (13)
  • What you did was exactly right! The nosy lady was out of line. Take a deep breath and remind yourself that all toddlers go through this. it will invariably happen again and if it does, just carry on like nothing is happening. The less focus on the tantrum, the quicker it will pass. I once walked through a CVS with my 2 yr old screaming at the top of his lungs while I happily talked to him about the things I needed to buy. I chuckled over the variety of looks I got. It happens to the best of us!

    Answer by momofryan07 at 3:26 PM on Oct. 14, 2009

  • No, it just serves as a reward for bad did right. I would probably have said something to the lady.

    Answer by Jademom07 at 2:14 PM on Oct. 14, 2009

  • No way! Giving a reward for bad behavior only creates more bad behavior.

    Answer by AmiJanell at 2:17 PM on Oct. 14, 2009

  • No, it just serves as a reward for bad did right. I would probably have said something to the lady.

    I was thinking the same that what if it happen again? Is my son expecting a something every time he acts up?
    I did say something but I don't know if she heard me. I said "you don't know what's going on" and I walk away with my son. OP

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:17 PM on Oct. 14, 2009

  • My son is sleeping right know. Must be that he is tired from the tantrum. But I don't know what to do to get my self together. This is the first time that this has happened and I only want what is best for my son. OP

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:19 PM on Oct. 14, 2009

  • And for the previous posters: thanks so much for all the support.

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:21 PM on Oct. 14, 2009

  • HELL NO!! why would you reward bad behavior. if you wnat whats best for youe son is time to teach discipline. he needs to learn you dont laways get what you want. by you given him a toy or candy is not teaching anything. kids are smart. my dd is 31 mts she has never thrown a tantrum in public cuz she knows better.

    Answer by piwife at 2:33 PM on Oct. 14, 2009

  • That lady was just rude and poking her nose in where it didn't belong. If you buy your kid what they want when they're throwing a tantrum, then they will throw a tantrum every time you go to a store in order to get another toy.

    What I have done when my toddler is going bonkers is I think of a treat she likes that we have at home. Then I say, "if you'll be a good helper and listen to mommy and act nice, then when we get hmoe I'll give you 3 M&M's" or something similar. Stops her tantrums every time. That way I'm rewarding the good behavior and getting her to calm down so I can finish my errands.

    Answer by ThrivingMom at 2:37 PM on Oct. 14, 2009

  • NO! I was a nanny for a while and thats what the mom would do. I wouldn't do it at all. She always asked why the kids were so much better behaved with me... hmm.....

    Answer by KatieP. at 2:44 PM on Oct. 14, 2009

  • Absolutely not. You do not reward tantrums and other bad behavior.

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:53 PM on Oct. 14, 2009

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