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Should I "try" to work it out, if he never physically had sex with her... After years of marriage this is the only time he's ever done this... I DON'T Know if I can... But we have kids! Don't they deserve for me to try?

I recently found out that my husband has been havin phone sex w/ a coworker who is in another state. They started chattin on Myspace a few months ago & I told him & emailed her to stop, oh the myspace stopped alright, cause he started callin from his work phone instead of his personal phone anyway he was suppose to go there on business & they were planning on "hooking up" , well she sent him an email at work describing what kind of sex she wanted from him so needless to say they both got fired, I started to put the pieces together and figured it all out & asked him if he got fired because of her, he said yes, but lied about why! I waited a few days & texted her, I found her #. She told me everythin from phone sex to planning on having sex while he was out there on business, oh & the best part is my husband is 39 and she's 20! Should I try to work it? We've got small children! If he'd had made the trip it would be over!!!


Asked by Anonymous at 3:28 PM on Oct. 14, 2009 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (19)
  • Depends on how your husband is acting right now, is he still lying, is he devastated at his stupidity, is he willing to go to counseling, is he scared to death you are going to leave him, does he vow to never speak to this woman again and never do anything like this ever again? What does he want? How does he feel?

    If he is not 100% ready for the EXTREMELY long road ahead that it will take to earn back your trust and love it doesn't matter if you want to work it out. If he has proven beyond a doubt that he knows he totally effed up and he's got to do lots of hard work to fix what he broke then you have a shot and *maybe* getting through this. And yes, if he was ready to do the work it requires, I would try and give him another shot for my kids. If it doesn't work out, it doesn't work out, but at least you tried.

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:33 PM on Oct. 14, 2009

  • You could try to work it out. Go to marriage counseling and found out what the problem is. Try "The Love Dare". Yes, your sons deserve to have both of their parents, but only if it's a happy home.

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:30 PM on Oct. 14, 2009

  • Well yeah, he didn't do anything. He just talked about it. He had a fantasy. A lot of men have those. Just tell him to grow up and cut that crap out.

    Answer by admckenzie at 3:30 PM on Oct. 14, 2009

  • I can almost guarantee you that this was not the first time NOR will it be the last....You need to have a serious talk with him! Forgive him if he is genuine, but don't just tollerate him because you have kids together!

    Answer by christyg at 3:32 PM on Oct. 14, 2009

  • If you love him, then yes, you should try. In my mind, though, the intent is as bad as the deed. You should do your best to find out why he felt the need to do this, and seek counciling if you possibly can. Remember, TRYING to work it out doesn't mean you will succeed. But it's worht a shot.

    If you don't love him, though, then call it quits. I really do think it's better for the kids to live with mom and dad who can be amicable together than to have to live in teh middle of mom and dad's very own personal hell.

    Answer by Ati_13 at 3:32 PM on Oct. 14, 2009

  • ughh?.....i would kill him lol jk ummm seriously thats painful sorry...

    Answer by tiffandgene2009 at 3:33 PM on Oct. 14, 2009

  • OMG, do not listen to admckenzie, she apparently has ZERO standards when it comes to men. This is not the first of her answers that has SHOCKED me. I bet if her husband came home with lipstick on his collar she's smack him upside the head, tell him to 'cut it out' and serve up dinner. Crazy lady!

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:35 PM on Oct. 14, 2009

  • My Oh My... that's some serious stuff right there. You know, I get so tired of reading about all of the lying, trifling, low down, cheating men around here!! UGH. What is wrong with people? Number one, YES this is definitely cheating, whether he actually boned the girl or not. PERIOD. He's cheating on you. Now its up to YOU miss thang on how you're going to deal with it. After 15 yrs of marriage I can certainly see why you would want to patch it up, however he's trying to have sex with another woman, let alone one who is HALF HIS AGE? Maybe he's going through some sort of mid-life crisis thing... either way, he doesn't need to be disrespecting you-HIS WIFE OF 15 YRS-just because he's feeling insecure with almost being 40 yrs old.

    Answer by Lextacy at 3:36 PM on Oct. 14, 2009

  • i say no...the only reason he didnt actually have sex with her is cuz they got caught and fired, i dont hink i would be able to live with that

    Answer by mommymeg03 at 3:37 PM on Oct. 14, 2009

  • ANON 3:35 --- I totally agree with you about admckenzie... & you are hilarious!!.... Seriously, that's some funny ish LMAO

    Answer by Lextacy at 3:40 PM on Oct. 14, 2009

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