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Does anyone out there have a problem with their hubby or boyfriend not doing anything around the house to help you?i.e. laundry, dishes, changing diapers, giving kids a bath, etc........If so, how are you dealing with it???????????????


Asked by NadiaAnn at 3:32 PM on Oct. 14, 2009 in Relationships

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Answers (27)
  • So, wonder what the person does who said, "why do you expect him to do any of that stuff?" Give me a break! we spend all day with the kids (and some of us work in or out of the home). We have BOTH had long days. That does NOT excuse a man from life duties. my husband does the dishes. I try to put them away, but it doens't always happen. I cook, he cleans. period. If he cooked , I would clean. (he doesn't. lol) I do most of the other housework, because I want it done right. he does his own laundry. whenever he gets around to it. once a month or so! haha...I started off doing his, but since that was something I was doing for him, he took it back. haha... I am sorry, but just because he is the husband and makes more money than I do does not mean I am a slave when he is home!!!

    Answer by PA_mountainmama at 9:01 PM on Oct. 18, 2009

  • I used to have moments like that with my DH. Then I had a meltdown and told him that I need a little bit more help. That's all I needed to do. He totally helps me now. He helps bathe the kids, wash dishes, and vacuums every once in a while. More importantly he's much better at cleaning up after himself. Let him know how you feel. He should help out more after that.

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:35 PM on Oct. 14, 2009

  • i just don't get this. why would anyone think a man would help with that stuff? what did you think being a mom & wife was going to be like?

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:37 PM on Oct. 14, 2009

  • My husband works long hours and I stay at home with the kids so I don't expect it and I'm happy to do all of that stuff and manage the home. There are times though when I get overwelmed and I'll ask for his help in a nice and respectful way and he helps me. Thats just how we worked things out. If you need help around the house I would suggest you find a nice moment when neither of you are stressed, hungry or tired and talk about it. NEVER demand anything, but just simply ask for help.

    Answer by Precious333 at 3:38 PM on Oct. 14, 2009

  • I made a list for us to split up. He gets to do some stuff and i do stuff. If i cook.. he can do the dishes. He takes the garabe out. and mowes. I clean the bathrooms and living room.. we share our bedroom duties and his sons room. Sometimes i just have to ask him to do these things. Its only fair and we do not live in the stone age. I use my days off to take care of the house and he can do the same too i think. Its a partnership. Oh and we share laundry duty. i personally like to do my own. you got to find what works for you. i still have kinks but its def a start. :) explain how helping out would make you feel... and remb a happy momma is a happy family LOL! i love tha tone

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:38 PM on Oct. 14, 2009

  • In response to the second answer.......We are not in the 1950's where a woman should be barefoot and pregnant or speak when spoken to! They are his children too! There is no reason why he can't help with things instead of of sitting on his fat ass watching tv all night!!!!!

    Answer by NadiaAnn at 3:41 PM on Oct. 14, 2009

  • You could also delegate chores to your children, age appropriate of course. And like the others have said, let him know how you feel, he may think since you do it and don't say anything that , that's how you want it...

    In our home I do all the chores except what our boys have to do. We all have jobs, even my Hubby. We all know our duties and everything runs smoothly. Hubby's gone a month at a time working so his jobs are cars, house repair, pretty much anything that needs fixing, built, or regular maintenance.

    Answer by MrsLeftlane at 3:46 PM on Oct. 14, 2009

  • oh yes i do.. but i just ask alot for his help, like the way i get it done is: if im cooking than ill say, "hey can you load or unload the dish washer".... If im doing laundry i say "hey can you work on this while i give them ther baths"...... Doing the dishes i say "hey can you clean up the livingroom so i can set and watch tv with you when im done with this".. its awesome you should try it.. at first i was bitchy and always started in but this way i get him to do what i want when i want..

    Answer by ArlieBeeMee at 3:47 PM on Oct. 14, 2009

  • i just don't get this. why would anyone think a man would help with that stuff? what did you think being a mom & wife was going to be like?


    Answer by ria7 at 3:48 PM on Oct. 14, 2009

  • We have had many discussions, arguements and just all out brawls about how he does NOTHING! Our kids are 3 and 4. I will be washing dishes or cooking and my sons diaper would need to be changed. I will ask him to please change his diaper and he will flat out tell me NO! I was working full time while he was out of work and I still had to do everything when I got home. I even had to do the grocery shopping after work because he didn't WANT to!!!!!!!! I love him but I don't know if I can stand this anymore. We have other issues has well, but this would make things so much better if I had a little help!

    Answer by NadiaAnn at 3:58 PM on Oct. 14, 2009