Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

How do i tell my 4yr old daughter that her father and i are seperated

and he found a apt ????im devestated i dont know if my babygirl is to small for this,i dont want to make a mistake what do i tell her?????

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 3:39 PM on Oct. 14, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (6)
  • well, first if all I suggest not giving up on your marraige. My marraige almost failed last year, my husband wanted to leave, he even was about to move out but agreed for my sake to counseling and we worked through things. (now we couldn't be more happier in our marriage). Second you don't have to give details. Maybe you both can come together for a plan. Just let her know that right now daddy is staying somewhere else for awhile and thats it.
    Precious333

    Answer by Precious333 at 3:47 PM on Oct. 14, 2009

  • Yes she's too young. Don't explain anything to her. That's too much to put on a child who doesn't understand anyway not to mention dad might come back so by the time she processes it you two have kissed and made up. Keep the kids out of it. Let dad fade out and it won't be so traumatic for her. Don't make a big deal about it. If you are upset then she'll be upset and won't even understand why so cry after she's in bed asleep.
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 3:55 PM on Oct. 14, 2009

  • you could say "you father and l haave decided to live apart because we argued a lot"
    when you talk about your partner to yuor child always be positive like how well they cook,how good they are at reading bedtime stories.this will facilitate some emotional overlap as well as allowing your child/childeren to express how the whole of their world fits together.

    Try to find someone who can unburden your feeling and thoughts to and allow yourself to be irrational about it vent this feeling...
    lon2004

    Answer by lon2004 at 4:00 PM on Oct. 14, 2009

  • OMG, do not listen to admckenzie! I have never heard such horrible advice from anyone before, OMG. Post after post after post her advice is so awful!

    First of all, you need to talk to her together, both of you sit down, maybe tell her how much you love her and for a little while daddy has to spend some time out of the house but he's going to visit lots and they'll still get to do fun stuff all the time. Let her miss him, because she will...do not pretend nothing happened. My daughter is 4YO and let me tell you, she would notice if DH was late for dinner, are you kidding me? OF COURSE you have to say something. Are you on decent terms with your STBX, would you work with you on how to do this together for her?
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:05 PM on Oct. 14, 2009

  • Easy, & this is what i told my daughter. Can't sugar coat it really...

    I said "dad & I are busy doing different things & it is much easier for us if we live seperately"

    She never really made a big deal out of it.
    samurai_chica

    Answer by samurai_chica at 4:25 PM on Oct. 14, 2009

  • I feel for you because I am struggling with the same thing right now only there is a 4, 6, & 8 yo involved. And for those who lecture on not giving up on marriage, I have been through hell to save my marriage. My Husband continues to cheat on me even though I always catch him and he always says that he wants to make it work. We have been in counseling for 2 years with no progress. I am the one asking for a seperation but I can't take the pain anymore. All I can think about is how to tell my children. My 4 yo is a total daddy's boy and will be crushed but I am not going to try and hide it from him. He is too smart for that and will notice when daddy stops coming home everyday.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:04 PM on Oct. 14, 2009

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.
close Join now to connect to
other members!
Connect with Facebook or Sign Up Using Email

Already Joined? LOG IN