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my mom needs to leave me the "F" alone!

Nothing I do is good, if I buy something ,she would say why , she doesn;t like the way I do things. She complains and wines about everything I do, She critisises me . I dont know whats wrong with her . if its old age; or that she just feels better doing that to me since her sister does this to her? What can I do about this?

 
incarnita

Asked by incarnita at 5:36 PM on Oct. 14, 2009 in Relationships

Level 14 (1,386 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (13)
  • If it bothers you so much limit or end your relationship with her. If she asks you why, tell her. Maybe she will change to get you back, maybe not.
    Gailll

    Answer by Gailll at 5:39 PM on Oct. 14, 2009

  • Tell her how you feel.
    outstandingLove

    Answer by outstandingLove at 5:44 PM on Oct. 14, 2009

  • She probably has no idea she treats you this way. Talk to her, tell her how you feel. Start out by saying, Mom I know you love me and you would never want to hurt me, but...........
    JackieGirl007

    Answer by JackieGirl007 at 5:53 PM on Oct. 14, 2009

  • it sounds like she is a "typical" mom. It's just what they seem to do, and I think we as their kids are just overly sensitive to it. I understand, really, I do. When I was in my 20's and early 30's my mom drove me nuts. It seemed like she was always negative about everything I did. I would do something or say something and she always had something to say about someone else and how what they did was better. But now that I am older and have a grown daughter I think it was just her way to "help" or give advice. I will catch myself giving my daughter "advice" and then know I need to back off. And now my mom and I get along and I enjoy her company. Keep in mind your parents won't be around forever and is what she is doing that bad that you would want to end your relationship with her.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:54 PM on Oct. 14, 2009

  • I had to tell my dad one time that he was criticizing me. I was waiting for the dr to call to tell me if I had cancer or not. I got a call from my dad and he started his crap. I told him about the call I was waiting for and said that if he could just stop criticizing me until after I got through this crisis then he could go back to criticizing me if he made him feel good. He was shocked. He said he had no idea he was doing it and he stopped it. Maybe you should tell her that she should stop. I know my adult children would tell me if I were doing it to them
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 5:56 PM on Oct. 14, 2009

  • Ugg I know how you feel, my mom is critical of EVERYTHING-- I finally just hold my hand up every time she starts in on something, and say zip it! She doesn't mean to do it, she is just bossy and pigheaded by nature--I inherited a bit of it from her I am sad to say, but she loves her grandson and I have just really made her AWARE of how the negative comments make me feel. I just don't listen to it anymore! I have made an agreement that she won't be angry when I tell her to knock it off!
    kimigogo

    Answer by kimigogo at 6:01 PM on Oct. 14, 2009

  • Well---do you realize that YOU are whining? LOL. I feel sorry for your Mom.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 6:28 PM on Oct. 14, 2009

  • My Mom use to be that way. Very critical and always in my business. Finally one day I stood up to her. I let her know that I love her and accept her for who she is ( a very dominant person) but that I was no longer going to allow her to have this kind of control over me. I didn't notice until a few years later that ever since I stood up to her she had backed off and seemed to respect me more. I said something a couple of months ago about it and she said yes that she did have more respect for me after that. Its weird now our relationship changed drastically after I stood up to her. I am like the only person in this world not afraid of my mother, of course people tell me all the time I am just like her (lol).
    kc932

    Answer by kc932 at 6:56 PM on Oct. 14, 2009

  • kc932 has the right idea and so does Gailll. My mom's extremely critical too and still is although she's a tiny bit more quiet now. To get to that point I finally had to limit contact big time. I didn't want to do that but she refused to listen to word verbally or any other way. Finally I said it's important we get along no matter on what level, I am allowed my decisions and I am allowed to not listen to you mom. Our talks and emails now for sometime are very general about tv, papers. I do not discuss any personal issue with her at all about anyone in my family. We see each other after holidays our stress is less. Now we laugh more and we're relaxed with each other like neighbors who enjoy running into each other in different places. After years of trying this is what it took for us to laugh together even though we do not have a mother daughter bond. My agree hvn seen witnessed her selfish demanding behavior.
    lfl

    Answer by lfl at 7:47 PM on Oct. 14, 2009

  • lfl here- last sentence meant - my kids agree that limited contact is best having seen and witnessed her behavior. They are teens and older.
    lfl

    Answer by lfl at 7:49 PM on Oct. 14, 2009

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