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Seriously--I don't get it for C-section mommies in particular-

I have been reading several journals/posts lately about moms grieving over not being able to bond with their kiddos immediately after birth because they had C-sections. Do you feel this way? I had a stillborn child and would have been happy to hold her alive and well 2 weeks later. I also had a C-section with dear son and he would not have lived had they not have performed it, so I was just curious--do you think something was missing between parent/child bond because of a C-section? I think grieving is pretty strong, but maybe I need to be enlightened in some way?


Asked by Anonymous at 6:17 PM on Oct. 14, 2009 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (19)
  • people associate bonding with breastfeeding? Because bonding, to me, is not about breastfeeding. Its about touch and smiles and voices and contact whether its chest to chest or hand to fingers,etc.

    I got to touch and talk to my sons for several minutes once they were out of me. I got those precious initial moments.

    The argument that drs are at fault is getting old. Start placing blame where it where. Things happen, decisions have to be made and for the most part WE make the final decision.
    All this negativity about the drs and how they care about us,etc is just old and tiresome.

    Your experience is what YOU make of it. You either find the joy in what you have been given(even if not ideal)or you wallow in pity and that sooooooo doesnt help the bonding process.

    It saddens me that so many seem so focused on the delivery part that they seem to glide over the wonderful outcome.

    Answer by Amaranth361 at 8:58 PM on Oct. 14, 2009

  • i have not had a c-section ...
    but i have done a lot of research on c-sections.

    some moms might feel that they are grieving that bonding time, specifically if they planned on nursing. In many hospitals, a mom may not get to hold her child for HOURS after the delivery. This makes breastfeeding, as well as that first initial bonding time ...well, very difficult.

    Answer by outstandingLove at 6:22 PM on Oct. 14, 2009

  • I had an emergency c section. I do not feel like something is missing at all BUT.... whe they got him out I asked if he was ok but I was too weak and no one heard me, I soon there after passed out for a few hours, and woke up alone in reovery in a panic. When a nurse finally came around I wated to see my son NOW, she gave me a hard time, I was really scared, cuz like i said it was an emergncy c cetion, i just wanted to hold him and know verything was ok, luckily my cuz was at the hosp with me and took care of them not letting me have him and I very soon had him in my arms and all was ok, but for that brief time, ya i was a lil paniced (sp?)

    Answer by mommymeg03 at 6:23 PM on Oct. 14, 2009

  • I had 3 c/sections and I bonded immediately with each and every one of them...hell, I bonded with them before they were even born but adding their beautiful faces just strengthened it LOL.

    I dont buy the "I didnt bond well" thing. If they didnt it had nothing to do with how their baby was born(and no amount of research chucked my way will change my OPINION on that), probably had to do with their mindset at having to have a c/section cuz it seems most were ones who had their hearts set on a natural type birth and when it went awry they felt horrible about it,etc.

    Answer by Amaranth361 at 6:23 PM on Oct. 14, 2009

  • i dont feel that way and i had a c section. im just happy that my baby was healthy and i now have a healthy two year old little girl

    Answer by Anonymous at 6:23 PM on Oct. 14, 2009

  • I don't get it either. I had 3 kids -no C section--but the bonding came once we were home and I was with her 24 hours a day. I didn't see my babies much in the hospital. I had my kids in 1967, 1969 and 1971. Do you suppose the moms of today are high maintenance? They are blaming C-sections? They are grieving? LOL.
    Heck---it doesn't matter HOW the baby gets here---the important thing is going to happen when you get home: mothering 24/7.
    I am so sorry that you had a stillbirth.

    Answer by Lindalu2 at 6:26 PM on Oct. 14, 2009

  • not sure this is the right category for this ?

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:05 PM on Oct. 14, 2009

  • I had one vag delivery in 1999, a c-section in 2002 and a repeat c-section in June this year. I understand that some women feel they have "failed" by not having vag deliveries. A lot of people look down on women who have them or elect to have them as if they know their life story and their situation. As for bonding, it does kinda suck to have to wait to hold your baby while they are sewing you up and all that. I guess its just that you have to see for yourself before you think he/she is okay and it takes longer when you have a c-section. It didn't last long though, the first c-section I had. My last one, it took a while for me to see my son because I was hemorrhaging, but I didn't feel like I didn't bond. I just wanted to see him. BUT I was so high on the medication that the doctors laughed at me for announcing to everyone "make sure you tie those tubes up good," after my last baby.


    Answer by kbates1208 at 7:08 PM on Oct. 14, 2009

  • well it's been many yrs since my c-sections but i fought hard this time and the last time around to make sure i didn't have a c-section. some dr's consider me high risk cause of the c-sections and after endless calls to all the dr's w my ins i found one who was willing to let me do another vbac. i didn't like that i couldn't hold the baby right away and something is lacking in it. i had 2 done and one was cause the cord was wrapped around his neck the other just cause the dr was an idiot. it was my first and didn't realize that what i was feeling was braxtin hicks contractions. instead of sending me home like he should of he broke the water, labor didn't progress (duh cause it wasn't due til the following month) so c-section was his last option. i'm so mad still about that one. there is nothing like seeing the actual birth and then having that baby you waited for for so many months. i want it in my arms asap. i'm not grieving

    Answer by melody77 at 7:52 PM on Oct. 14, 2009

  • I had an emergency c-section with my first she was sick with trisomy 18 it's a chromosome disorder. I would not have been able to bond with her anyway because they had to rush her to nicu. She passed away a month later but I was grateful we had a c-section or she may have not made it through delivery and I would not have been able to bond at all. With my younger two I had a c-section and was able to bond with them right away in recovery.

    Answer by kristyn165 at 8:05 PM on Oct. 14, 2009