Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

How would you deal with this?

My SO and I have been trying for a baby for 15 months. He is having a sperm analysis done next week. He goes and says im going to "smoke" with the boys. I flipped on him because i believe it could affect our chances as well as affect the sperm analysis. He thinks im overacting, I think he is being insensitive. how would you TTC ladies react?

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 9:35 PM on Oct. 14, 2009 in Trying to Conceive

Answers (5)
  • Yeah, it can mess it up. Is he just not that into going through the fertility clinic procedures? He might be in denial that anything could possibly be "less than perfect" for him. They don't always get how stressful it is on women and how important their full, attentive participation is. He should give that stuff up at least until you are successful.

    Answer by halfpint_ny at 9:52 PM on Oct. 14, 2009

  • My husband was a drug addict before I met him. He smoked A LOT of weed and snorted A LOT of coke and dropped A LOT of acid. He became clean about 6 months before I met him. that was about 4.3 years ago. We have been married for 3.5 years. We tried for 2 solid years to get pregnant. At about a year and half of trying, the doctor sent my husband to get his sperm tested. His came out well within normal range on everything. Granted, my husband didnt just smoke pot before the test but he was a big drug addict before. Good Luck and I hope the baby fairy visits you soon!

    Answer by vickwu at 11:01 PM on Oct. 14, 2009

  • Added info:There is nothing wrong with his sperm he has "super sperm" supposedly even though he has never fathered a child. He used be really into meth and crack 3 and half years ago, thats why i believe his count is low or has motility issues. He smokes pot about every 2-3 weeks. I told him either he stops or we are not going to try for a baby until he does.. he still thinks im overreacting.

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:35 PM on Oct. 14, 2009

  • Your not over reacting and it can cause problems with conceiving, not to mention "street" weed is potentially way more harmful then medicianl weed as it can have added chemicals. The effects of weed are not yet known and he is basically taking a gamble with you and his child, I would rethink this whole having a baby thing and the relationship in general, trust me, I was with a weed smoker for a year, off and on after that it's not worth it. No guy (no matter how much he thinks) has super sperm, he sound full of himself imo.

    Answer by Aniyunwiya at 5:39 AM on Oct. 15, 2009

  • I think its wise to hold off ttc until he lays off the drugs...and maybe finds better friends! You want people to bring you up, not hold you down! I know some people are recreational pot smokers, and while I'm not a fan, I know its not the worse thing you can do. Yet, when you're trying to have or are raising a kid, its really starting off on the wrong foot if he's putting smoking before your feelings and maybe the ability to have kids. Women have to be clean- even with alcohol- for 9 months to have healthy babies. He can put family first and lay off for a while. Is he still going to get high when he's a dad? Would you trust him to pay attention or hold a newborn while high? Or is he just going to bail to smoke with his friends? I don't know, the more I think about this, the more worried I get about your future. And you said S/O- are you ok intentionally having a child with someone you aren't married to? just a thought.

    Answer by mrs_pulley at 10:47 AM on Oct. 15, 2009

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.