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How do you tell a friend something without hurting their feelings?

I've been best friends with my best friend for 13 years. We've gone through middle school, high school, boyfriends, tears... etc. But she does something that really annoys me.

Her other best friend is my worse enemy and she is constantly telling me what they talk about, what their plans are, how bad my enemy talks about me and so much more. I sometimes feel like my enemy/her friend is more important than me because she tells everyone that she is her best friend and I don't get the same treatment.

The reason this girl is my enemy is because she used to bully me and tell me how ugly I was all the time. That left emotional scars which I still suffer from those words she said today.

I know that my best friend has been friends with her for years also, but I am tired of feeling like I'm not good enough. What do I do?

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 10:26 PM on Oct. 14, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (7)
  • Sweetie if this woman was really your friend, she wouldn't be telling you things to upset you like that.  Telling you that her other friend talks crap about you sounds a bit drama queeny to me.  Find some new friends, ones who won't talk about you behind your back. 

    Katrina3016

    Answer by Katrina3016 at 10:29 PM on Oct. 14, 2009

  • With all that you've been through... you guys haven't hurt each other's feelings just once? Not even a teensy weensy little bit? I'm not saying intentionally hurting each other or anything, but... when you're close pals like that, emotions and differences WILL flare, because you're not the same exact people. Just like with SO's. My grandma always said "it's not a real relationship until you experience the negative side of things and are still going strong, rather than all the froo-froo and think it'll last"
    I agree with that comment...

    Just be honest with her. You two have been through a lot. Sure she might be upset or annoyed, perhaps, but... I believe your guys' relationship is strong enough for something like that. You're not trying to break a friendship, just tell her how you feel. She can't fault you for that.
    K_Sawyer

    Answer by K_Sawyer at 10:31 PM on Oct. 14, 2009

  • wash your hands of all of that high school(I don't like you crap) and be an adult.
    truthteller0722

    Answer by truthteller0722 at 10:44 PM on Oct. 14, 2009

  • Just be honest with her. If she gets upset then she will get over it. I am sure your friendship is strong enough to withstand you being up front and truthful. If you don't say something now, it could blow up into something worse, you know the straw that broke the camels back thing.
    pnwmom

    Answer by pnwmom at 10:44 PM on Oct. 14, 2009

  • Next time she starts just say "Look I don't really care about her, and frankly I don't want to hear about it anymore. Hey did you see Project Runway last week?" (Insert your own change of subject where I put Project Runway).

    You have to let go of whatever the other girl did in the past. You just have to get over it and move on. As for your friend - just tell her you're done hearing about it and that you've moved on.
    beckcorc

    Answer by beckcorc at 11:24 PM on Oct. 14, 2009

  • If she really was your best friend she would tell her other friend (your enemy) not to talk that way about you cuz you guys are friends. Second of all her telling you all the hurtful things she is talking about you is not a best friend behavior, you could be sure she (your best friend) talks crap behind your back, you need to be honest with her, which I'm pretty sure won't change anything cuz if your friend really cared about you she would not be acting like a high school drama queen, I would just move on cuz friends like that are not worth you time all they do is drag you down and give you low self esteem.


    That girl calling you ugly and making fun of you only means she was jealous of you so don't let that bring you down, just hold your head up high and be proud of who you are, cuz your a women and that alone is beautiful, good luck momma.

    looovemybabies

    Answer by looovemybabies at 11:30 PM on Oct. 14, 2009

  • Sweetie if this woman was really your friend, she wouldn't be telling you things to upset you like that. Telling you that her other friend talks crap about you sounds a bit drama queeny to me. Find some new friends, ones who won't talk about you behind your back



    Oh I totally agree w/ her on this. She's not your friend..DITCH THE WITCH!!!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:39 PM on Oct. 14, 2009

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