Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Is it wrong to keep kids away from their grandparents?

My stepson lives with us most of the time. His mom and I agree on only one thing; that he shouldn't have contact with my husbands parents. They are terrible people, and they aren't drug addicts. Actually, they are the complete opposite. They are pew-sitters. They sit in church and pretend to be holy and they are the most judgemental people alive. On two occassions my stepson has come home from their house terrified, because they've explained that if he doesn't do EVERYTHING by the bible that he'll rot in hell. I just don't think he should go over there if we aren't there with him, but is that wrong? I've tried talking to them, but it doesn't work.

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 11:14 PM on Oct. 14, 2009 in School-Age Kids (5-8)

Answers (10)
  • i would not send my kid with people like that alone. definatly not.
    PURPULbutterfly

    Answer by PURPULbutterfly at 11:18 PM on Oct. 14, 2009

  • Then don't do it....that simple
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:18 PM on Oct. 14, 2009

  • dont do it hun, you arent being wrong. ur being a careing loving mother. stepmother same things. u care thats whats rite. now if the son ask u to see him i think u should take into consideration but not with ppl like that
    SweetiePieAfWf

    Answer by SweetiePieAfWf at 11:20 PM on Oct. 14, 2009

  • You CANNOT change the way they think. They actually BELIEVE they are doing the only right thing and that it is their God-given mission in life to terrify their grandson into believing their way. I am glad that you and your stepson's bio-mom are on the same page on this. He needs a united front to protect him from that sort of narrow mindset. Just tell him in the kindest way possible that you and his mother both agree that that grandma and grandpa have certain ideas that you don't agree with and you don't want him to learn. If they have already frightened him twice, they have proven they can't and won't keep their religion out of their dealings with their grandson. As he gets older you can explain in greater detail each time he brings it up as to why you don't want him over there. He WILL eventually decide to look them up and listen to them. Be sure you teach him well against their brand of holier-than-thou Godliness.
    pagan_mama

    Answer by pagan_mama at 11:39 PM on Oct. 14, 2009

  • Are you wrong for keeping a child from his grandparents because of their faith? Yes! You are very very wrong. You should both be ashamed of yourselves. Don't listen to advice from the idiots above you who can't even spell 1st grade words like caring, definitely and right. Maybe if you'd stop talking to witches online all night they wouldn't be concerned.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:10 AM on Oct. 15, 2009

  • NOBODY rots in hell for not following the Bible to a 'T'. The Lord gave us free will, not the option to rot or not. The Bible was put down as instruction to Christians, and left for said Christian interpretation. Yes, religion is good, guidance is good, but doing nothing but scaring a child into Christianity is bad. God is loving and powerful and created us, sounds like this poor boy will turn the opposite way unless he makes his decision to follow it like his grandparents. Religion is an INDIVIDUAL choice anonymous chicken above me. These moms aren't saying religion is evil, they're saying they don't want their son learning about God in that manner. I commend them for good parental judgement in the situation.
    midnightshadow2

    Answer by midnightshadow2 at 12:57 AM on Oct. 15, 2009

  • In this situation, no you are not wrong. You, dad, and bio mom have VERY different feelings on religion/God than the grandparents, and the ideas of the parents are the ones that should be instilled in the child, not the ideas of the grandparents. And since they've made it quite clear they will try to press their beliefs on him, you absolutely should keep him away from them, not only so he doesn't get terrified, but also so he doesn't get confused. And don't listen to anon 12:10. She wants to judge you, but yet she can't even read and understand the question. It's not about their faith, it's about the fact that they don't respect your (you, dad and bio mom) wishes about this.
    tropicalmama

    Answer by tropicalmama at 7:52 AM on Oct. 15, 2009

  • My son doesn't go to my husbands parents. They are Atheists and told my son God doesn't exist and we were stupid for believing in him. We stopped contact immediately after that. They have the right to their beliefs and I did not care they shared their belief when they started undermining us as parents because of our beliefs to him we had to stop contact. They sued for grandparents rights but were not given them. My son told the judge he didn't want to see them. They grilled him over and over about our beliefs and told him if he was smart he would not believe in any religion. I had no clue but I did notice he was sad the last three visits with them. He did eventually tell us everything that went on and it was heartbreaking. They thankfully have stayed away. My parents are not around my son because of drug use. I feel for my son that he has grandparents that are worthless. He has adopted my friends parents.

    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:46 AM on Oct. 15, 2009

  • No you are not in this case. I don't give a **it who you are, you don't have that right to tell someone, a child even that they will rot in hell for not following everything in their bible!
    Christine0813

    Answer by Christine0813 at 9:10 PM on Oct. 15, 2009

  • i think you are doing the right thing
    momof4_2009

    Answer by momof4_2009 at 8:57 PM on Oct. 16, 2009

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.