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why would he do this?

my husband knows how i feel about myself and how i feel about porn. so why would he knowingly disreguard my feelings and LIE to me about porn? he knew from day one i had a "no porn" rule if you will about a relationship with me, but did or does he care? NO he still would rather wack off to a woman he can never have then to make love to the one he married. why ? thats all i want to know is why.

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 4:46 AM on Oct. 15, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (25)
  • im not going to lie, i watch porn! and i know my hubby does, sometimes you need self satisfaction bacause no one knows you better than you! get what i mean? like i know my hubby tries to get me off, but sometimes it can take forever cause he doesnt hit the right spots and vise versa, so we maturbate to porn, get our orgasm and go on with life!

    maybe you could try to spice things up though, like i know you dont want to watch it, but see what he is really into and try to idk how to say this, but like compromise with him! maybe he is looking for more excitement! and if you spice things up he probably wont need the porn anymore. the only reason me and hubbs have looked at it more is b/c during this pregnancy i got put on pelvic rest and i think that about killed him lol (and me :] )

    so try to spice it up! lingerae really works! good luck!

    Answer by danette624 at 4:55 AM on Oct. 15, 2009

  • I watch porn with DH too. I couldn't care less if he watched it by himself either. Men like porn, what's the big deal? Get over it and give him a break. Keep freaking out over ridiculous crap and he'll find other outlets aka other women.

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:04 AM on Oct. 15, 2009

  • oh yes I'm a big biatch that's what makes me so insecure even though he knew this before we got married , but yep I'm the one who's being a biatch ... hmmm  ooookay.

    now for the answer with the most intelligence (i thank you for being respectable and not a chit starter) he does masturbate and i don't mind it i just feel that he can do this to maybe a pic of me not some strange other woman, at least this way i know he wants me and not that he thinks he has to have me because he married me. i know i may not make since but he knew how i felt before we got married i'd think he's want to respect that.


    Answer by Anonymous at 5:05 AM on Oct. 15, 2009

  • i know i am and he knew this as well thats where the problem lays. you would think he would understand the most seeings how his insecuritys are just as bad, where he constantly accuses me of cheating even if i have proof that i was not.

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:17 AM on Oct. 15, 2009

  • maybe you guys should sit down and talk about your insecurities together then. try making him a sexy video of yourself or of the two of you that he can watch instead of the porn then?


    Answer by MomNbabyGirl009 at 5:18 AM on Oct. 15, 2009

  • the last anon was a good answer, the counseling together, it wont hurt your realationship it can only make it betteR!!

    i know there are counseling here in my state for couples and parents and children and such that are free, call your city and find out! GL!

    Answer by MomNbabyGirl009 at 5:23 AM on Oct. 15, 2009

  • i've asked him to go to counseling , he won't. but i do thank all the ladies who have suggested that , at least you were compassionat enough to suggest something and not bash . i was about to give up and come ask another question along the lines of " how can cafemom have a section for questions when every woman just wants to bash , not help" . so i thank you to the good ladies of cafemom. i will take the counseling in concideration.

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:30 AM on Oct. 15, 2009

  • best of luck to you!!! it could just be a rut right now you know? maybe give it some time :D

    Answer by MomNbabyGirl009 at 5:32 AM on Oct. 15, 2009

  • i know how you feel, my husband did the same, looked at porn, and naked women online, it does hurt. THey are using porn to replace the wives, where they are to come to the wife for all satifactions, not go outside the marriage. It is cheating, looking with your eyes, at naked women, it is wrong. He is suppose to have eyes only for you, and not go outside the marriage to watch women, or masturbate to them Than he has those images of those naked women in his mind, and that is just horribel, that he would be thinking of someone else, rather than his wife. So dont listen to the ones, who say, it is okay for him to do. iT is not, it is sin, it is sin and porn ruins marriages, and men than start to reject their wives, and go outside the marriage for sex, etc, so yes, he needs help, counseloring, prayer, soemthing, to open his eyes, to sin he isdoing, lusting after others.. So pray for your husband, ..

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:39 AM on Oct. 15, 2009

  • Porn is Porn - just the same if you read those trashy smut novels and get that little tingle as you read it - he's just getting the tingle with pics to go with his, my SO and I both love the porn, pics, movies etc... I'm a Big Beautiful Woman myself, and find that it does not bother me when my man looks at all these skinny "PORN" stars, they are entertainers of a more riska kind, like if you watched a Brad Pitt movie or Matthew McConehey movie and thought man he's hot, if you then start to have sex does that mean you are "THINKING" about the star on the show, or just wow he was hot, but are now having your husband (thinking only about your husband) it's just entertainment, people get paid to do this. I would rather my husband find an outlet in the porn that he can see, but not touch, he may be able to hear them in movies but he has to use his imagination because they're not really there. Join him one time & see what happens

    Answer by Anonymous at 6:22 AM on Oct. 15, 2009

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