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Its all going wrong

Ok no bashing please. I really want to save my marriage. Lately it just seems like Im not into it anymore. I dont want to be affectionate with hubby. He bothers me for no reason. I just dont know what to do. Its like all the spark is gone and I just want to know if anyone has had this happen and how did you fix it? I still love him and cant picture being without him but it feels like we are just friends. Also feel free to message me as well.


Asked by Anonymous at 10:23 AM on Oct. 15, 2009 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (5)
  • I understand how you feel. About 4 years ago I went through something like this. I found it easier to go out just the kids and myself with out my husband and every time he came with us we would always fight. I just did not like being around him.

    I think for me I felt like I was not a priority anymore, I felt that work, the kids, and his computer games or TV came before me.

    One night we got into a really big fight and I told him either things had to change or I was leaving. I had always said, I would stay for the kids, but I was wrong, I could no longer take it. We did not talk for 4 days. When we finally did talk we listened to what each other had to say and realized we both needed to change.

    Now we make it a point to out just the two of us, and we are more affectionate with each other. We listen to each other and realize that we would not want to leave.

    Good Luck

    Answer by cornflakegirl3 at 10:31 AM on Oct. 15, 2009

  • I think this is a very normal thing that happens to us when we've been with the same person for a long time. The newness just wears off and that's the way that it is, but let's not rule out the possibility that this could be a hormonal issue with you. Do you feel like your sex drive has also taken a decrease? If so, what you are feeling or not feeling for your husband could be a hormonal imbalance. Maybe you should reserve a "date night" for the two of you to keep your relationship alive.

    Answer by lowencope at 10:28 AM on Oct. 15, 2009

  • Its partly a choice thing--- I get in funks like that with my DH sometimes and I have to force myself to do the things I know I should for a while. I have to treat him like I ideally want to treat him instead of how I want to feel. A good heart to heart would probably help to. I'm sure he can help inject some spice into your marriage. Trying something new- or good date night-- or even trying something old (something you used to enjoy together but don't make time for anymore). If you stick with it, this too shall pass. I would read some books on marriage too- learning more about what you are into helps.

    Answer by IrishMommaC at 10:47 AM on Oct. 15, 2009

  • I think this is pretty normal. The most important thing to remember is that you love each other. Keep doing loving acts even if you don't feel so loving, and the feelings will return. And be very careful about how you think. Our emotions follow our thoughts.

    Answer by NannyB. at 11:32 AM on Oct. 15, 2009

  • Nothing wrong with being just friends. I think a lot of marriages settle down and turn into strong friendships that can last and still be positive.

    Answer by admckenzie at 1:14 PM on Oct. 15, 2009