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Did you have an untraditional requirement in chosing parents

After being chosen by my child's bmom, we were told in a semi-serious way that we were almost not chosen because the b-dad did not like the football Jersey my husband had on in one of the photos. Apparently he is a supporter of our home teams rivals. This "joke" came up more than once as they couldnt see their child being raised to be a fan of that particular team.

I was wondering if any bmoms had any requirements that were "non-traditional" and if something as simple as a football team affiliation or the like/dislike of a particular type of food or something simple like that played a part in your selection.


Asked by Anonymous at 10:53 AM on Oct. 15, 2009 in Adoption

This question is closed.
Answers (15)
  • I had four profiles picked out. My daughter was 6 at the time. I showed her the profile pics to see which ones she liked and she picked out my daughters parents. Two weeks later we met for the first time and as you can say the rest history. The pic my daughter saw was of their family dog who has since passed away. (Just a few short months after they brought her home)

    Other than that, the things I wanted were that they had to be biracial. Her mom is white and her father is half white/black. I didnt want my daughter to look and feel different from her family memebers. They also had to have other children. I didnt care if bio or adopted but I am glad that they were indeed bio children b/c the mother knows my pains a bit better of having a child. The father was adopted at birth, had a great life and wanted to do "pay it forward" if you will.

    They are awesome people. Awesome parents. Im happy with my choice. I DO miss her!!

    Answer by TLW514 at 5:11 PM on Oct. 16, 2009

  • Maybe it was just a drawn out joke to lesson the tension they felt.For me that type of stuff didn't even register,still doesn't.


    Answer by Anonymous at 11:24 AM on Oct. 15, 2009

  • My one child's bmom told us that she narrowed down to a couple and then threw them in the air and we landed on top.

    Our other child's bmom chose 4 couples and 1-3 were already matched. I was never so happy to be in forth place in my life.

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:39 AM on Oct. 15, 2009

  • My child was adopted in the era of closed adoptions. But, it I had been able to choose, I would not have wanted a family that was deeply religious to the point of being fanatical about their beliefs.

    Answer by Southernroots at 1:46 PM on Oct. 15, 2009

  • a football team really... i am not a birth mom but i have to say to the op --- was it the steelers??! jk

    Answer by AmaliaD at 1:52 PM on Oct. 15, 2009

  • I wanted a working class family. I passed over a couple where one was a doctor & one a lawyer. I wanted a couple who could identify with my life & the lives of my family members. We aren't a family of "professional" type people so I wanted someone who was close to what we were in those terms.
    Also passed over a family where they both had children from previous relationships & now wanted one "together" because I felt like I wanted someone who was just starting a family to be my child's parents.
    I also chose parents who were both on the taller side since most of the people in my family are tall & I figured my child probably would be too. As it turns out, she is my exact height.
    And not on purpose exactly but as it turned out the family I chose, the amom has the same first name as my sister.

    Answer by lisa89j at 2:05 PM on Oct. 15, 2009

  • I looked for a couple that looked like myself and my boyfriend (husband now). Not identical to us but the same features, hair color, eye color, height, weight etc...I wanted my son to look as similar to them as possible. I also wanted a family that could provide everything I couldn't, I wanted a SAHM, I wanted a working farther, I wanted a wealthy family, I wanted a family that could provide an extended loving family (grandparents, aunts, uncles, counsins), I wanted a family that was religous but not necessarily my religion as long as they had a faith. I wanted a family that did not have children and could not have children. It was important to me that my child kept his birth order (the oldest) and that he was in family that had no biological children. I wanted his parents to also have the same likes and dislikes in all things, food, hobbies, activities, interests...

    Answer by blessedwboysx3 at 2:18 PM on Oct. 15, 2009

  • OP here: it was the Dallas Cowboys.

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:23 PM on Oct. 15, 2009

  • "OP here: it was the Dallas Cowboys."

    LOL! Well, now THAT explains things! Just Kidding! I'm from Texas, too! ;)

    Answer by doodlebopfan at 4:11 PM on Oct. 15, 2009

  • We had the first interview with DD's BMom and BGrandma in January 2006 when the Pittsburgh Steelers were battling to later be named AFC Champions and go on to later win the Super Bowl. We weren't wearing Steeler clothing, but DH and I are both huge fans. It was pretty early that we were talking with the BFamily that we found out they were also huge fans and we were talking about the game and the score, etc. The BGma even asked us when we were leaving if we could call the rep's cell once we found out the current score and the rep very quickly put a stop to that. We left there believing we probably had a big advantage over the other 2 families that were being interviewed that evening because we had a big part of our lives (at least a few months out of the year) in common; whereas because of where we were, there was more chance the others were Browns fans...if football fans at all.

    Answer by AllAboutKeeley at 5:11 PM on Oct. 15, 2009