Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Does your SO leave you with all the work?

My SO never lets me get a break from our son I am 7months along now with our second child and I strain myself every day taking care of the house and our son with no help what should I do to get some help from him? He doesn't seem to get the picture that i can't be getting up & down and carrying Braden all the time with no help. Esspeccially being pregnate.

Answer Question

Asked by ashnbra1 at 1:19 PM on Oct. 15, 2009 in Pregnancy

Level 4 (34 Credits)
Answers (10)
  • Join the party. If you figure out how to change it, please let me know.

    Answer by KFree907 at 1:26 PM on Oct. 15, 2009

  • mines the same way! i have to take care of our two year old and everything and im 24wks pregnant! i havnt been able to get him to do much to help so im not much help sry.

    Answer by ashleywilkerson at 1:27 PM on Oct. 15, 2009

  • did you realize he was like this before you had a baby? did he help them? Then after your first and he didn't help you, did you think it would change if you had ANOTHER baby with him?

    Answer by maxsmom11807 at 1:33 PM on Oct. 15, 2009

  • I think you need to give yourself permission to slow down whether he helps or not.

    So the house will be a little messy - so what? If your SO gets upset about it just smile and say "sorry, I'm far too busy caring for our kid and growing you another one."

    Answer by mogencreative at 2:06 PM on Oct. 15, 2009

  • I have an 18 month and I'm 39+ weeks with our second. No help here either. Let me know if you figure out a way to get him to help. I feel your pain, it sucks and we don't even get a thank you at the end of the day.

    Answer by JDalila at 2:27 PM on Oct. 15, 2009

  • Guys sometimes need things spelled out for them. It would be great if they would just see what needs to be done but that only comes out of lots of training. The best way to get guys to help is to give them instructions that end with something enjoyable. They think if they start helping that we'll never let them be.

    i.e. Darling, can you vacuum the living room while I finish dinner? Then we can watch the baseball game I DVRed for you without interruption.


    Sweetie, would you mind loading the dishwasher while I finish folding the laundry? Then we can have a cuddle on the couch.

    Just find what motivates your SO and use it. Not excessively but just enough that they are helping a little bit every day. Eventually, they'll see what needs to be done and help but that takes years of loving training.

    Answer by Glutenfreebaby at 2:29 PM on Oct. 15, 2009

  • dh helps with the kids a lil sometime si ahve to ask him. as for housework. hell he wont even pick up a plate

    Answer by piwife at 2:57 PM on Oct. 15, 2009

  • guys do need things spelled out for them sometimes. Tell him but be sweet about it. COmmunicate.

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:41 PM on Oct. 15, 2009

  • i was just griping about this!!! I feel like the single mom of 4! we have 3 kids (7,5&2) and then him. I am on bedrest bc i went into labor at 25 weeks. They stopped it tho. But he does NOTHING!!! I want to hurt him sometimes lol!

    Answer by mommy- at 7:14 PM on Oct. 15, 2009

  • this is our first child, 37w, and even now he doesn't help much doing house work. he does other things outside that need to be done that are more along the lines of what he knows. however, he has specifically told me that men need to be told. giving clues is just gonna fly right over them. that doesn't mean tell him what to do, but rather ask and tell him why and how. one of the female race's problems is the fact that we think that the men in our lives can read us some of the time.

    Answer by Marri357 at 12:59 AM on Oct. 16, 2009

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.