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so how do I handle this? well long story short my MIL cheated on my FIL for 3 years....thinking what she was doing was ok & wasn't doing a thing wrong well now...

that its out to her whole family & the divorce is final, her father has decisied she's done nothing wrong. Well now he giving information to her she doesn't need to know. We have decided to keep her out of our life & our son. well I'm pregant again and my DH shared this with his grandparents with them knowing we don't want her knowing nothing of our life. Well his granddad told her & it really pisses me off but I'm trying to respect my husband wishes & not saying anything to all of them. My DH doesn't yet know that they've shared this info. How should I handle this. I can be a bitch but I'd rather not & respect my DH but I'm really hating them right now.

 
rebel07

Asked by rebel07 at 2:06 PM on Oct. 15, 2009 in Relationships

Level 13 (1,231 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (31)
  • I can understand not wanting someone with loose morals and no values around your children. She is not a good person if she feels that she has done nothing wrong. Tread lightly because in-law drama can cause major conflict in a marriage. If I were you I would start by telling DH, as calmly as possible, that his grandfather told her. Then you two can figure out how to handle it together. Take your cues from him in order to keep drama from happening in your marriage over this.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:15 PM on Oct. 15, 2009

  • I'm not sure if I understand what your saying.  Your husbands mother cheated on HER husband and you've banned them from seeing their grandchildren because of that?  Okay, so if thats correct then I would say, mind your own business.  Her cheating has nothing to do with what kind of a grandmother she is and honestly, I don't even understand why you and your husband know anything about it.  Noone knows whats going on in her mind or what was going on in her mind while she was cheating.  This just seems a bit judgemental to me.

    Katrina3016

    Answer by Katrina3016 at 2:08 PM on Oct. 15, 2009

  • myb, mind your own business, that is his mother and father. it is a no win situation. Don't stop them from being in your life, it is there life let them live it the way they choose too.
    KFree907

    Answer by KFree907 at 2:09 PM on Oct. 15, 2009

  • what she did was wrong but its her burden to carry, her folks are going to stick by her side shes there child right, wrong or other wise. there must be more going on if you are keeping her out of your lives, and if not then maybe you all should sit down and talk this out. dont judge others if you dont want to be judged yourself
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:09 PM on Oct. 15, 2009

  • I must need more coffee because I am SO confused, lol.

    Katrina3016

    Answer by Katrina3016 at 2:09 PM on Oct. 15, 2009

  • I'm lost, I guess...so because she cheated she can't see her grandchildren? I think that's wrong. Or is there another reason she can't?
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:09 PM on Oct. 15, 2009

  • It's perfectly fine in my opinion that you keep her out of your lives. She has shown her lack of morals and ethics....I would keep her as far as possible. What kind of drama will you end up in if you let her back into your lives?
    mamakirs

    Answer by mamakirs at 2:11 PM on Oct. 15, 2009

  • i agree with everyone so far! I can understand your feelings of awkwardness and maybe disrespect now that the news is out, but really it is her business. if your children werent involved, she still deserves to see them!
    Owl_Feather

    Answer by Owl_Feather at 2:15 PM on Oct. 15, 2009

  • if you and your husband made a decision to cut her out of your lives, but another family member is still feeding her information, i would say that finding out about her grandchildren from a second-hand source is still a pretty stiff punishment for her to deal with. try to leave it at that, unless she personally chooses to ingore your family's wishes and act upon that information.

    remember that not all of your husband's family may have reached the same decision as you and he did. it will be difficult for them to deal with her actions in their own way.
    mellypoo

    Answer by mellypoo at 2:16 PM on Oct. 15, 2009

  • Not sure what your issue is with her. What she did was within her relationship with her husband. That was neither you or your husbands relationship. Why would you keep your children from their grandmother because she was foolish in her marriage?
    EireLass

    Answer by EireLass at 2:18 PM on Oct. 15, 2009