Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

reasking for your help on personal things in my marriage :) no bashing please

Ok so.. my husband and i have completely different sex drives, his is on like overdrive and mine is like on idle. We have a beautiful DD 6 mo old. We fight all the time over sex. He doesn't feel loved. Hes reaching out for me and i know im the problem but i just don't know how to fix it. It seems like everytime he wants to, im either tired, not in the mood or something else is going on. I don't want it to get to a point where he feels like the love isn't enough and he might go somewhere else to get what his man needs are. Does anyone else have this problem. How did you fix it. Or what should i do? I am still very physically attracted to him! I love him with everything that i am but when it comes down to having sex i just put it off. I don't want my DH to be hurting anymore. I always say im going to change and then i don't and i think he's tired and just about had enough with not feeling wanted. Please help if you can.

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 2:55 PM on Oct. 15, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (5)
  • This is completely normal after having a baby...my sex drive didn't go back to normal until dd was almost a year old. PM me if you want
    Jademom07

    Answer by Jademom07 at 2:57 PM on Oct. 15, 2009

  • Yes--I lost my sex drive after DS was born and has yet to come completly back! I just do it and most of the time end up enjoying it after it gets started! That being said I do not give in everytime, taking care of a baby is draining and I think does something to your hormones---good luck, and I feel your pain!
    kimigogo

    Answer by kimigogo at 2:59 PM on Oct. 15, 2009

  • I read something once that I think about regularly when it comes to sex issues in a marriage: The amount of sex a woman is willing to have is directly related to how much work her husband does around the house. There is a scientific correlation here. As a general rule, when the woman takes care of kids , the house cleaning and works (or even if she doesn't) etc. you are getting a lot of physical activity and by the end of the day, you're exhausted and don't feel like sex. Inversely, the husband typically works all day (in a lot of cases in front of a computer and in meetings, etc.) and doesn't get as much physical activity. Then they come home and rest and feel great by the time bedtime comes along. Also, women tend to feel more loved when the house work is shared. So, if you think this might have something to do with it...ask your husband for more help around the house and see if that helps your sex drive.
    ANGIE409

    Answer by ANGIE409 at 3:03 PM on Oct. 15, 2009

  • Wake up early and have a date morning
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 3:21 PM on Oct. 15, 2009

  • I have been having the same problem. Its been 9 months since my sons birth. I was reading ANGIE409's post and I think she hit my prob. I'm so busy picking up after him and asking for help from him has gotten me no where. I don't think it helps that he chooses his friends over our son and myself.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:22 AM on Oct. 16, 2009

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.
close Join now to connect to
other members!
Connect with Facebook or Sign Up Using Email

Already Joined? LOG IN