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He says he loves me and wants to be with me but if he did, why would he tell me....

that no one really likes me because of who I am and that he wants to help me get better?

He tells me that my dad ignores me, that people say he only talks to and about my sister... that he doesnt treat me like he cares about me. (This is not true... out of two years, he was only around my dad like 5 times) he always talks about my friends not telling me the truth cause they dont wanna hurt my feelings, that he does cause he loves me.

The main thing about this is that he tries to make me feel like I am no one, that no one cares too much for me and that I need help.

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 2:20 AM on Oct. 16, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (13)
  • These are the words of a would-be controller. And that often devolves into abuse. It's not YOU he loves but the idea of controlling you.

    Run screaming away. Get him OUT of your life this minute.

    Answer by gdiamante at 2:21 AM on Oct. 16, 2009

  • Get a divorce! He sounds like a controlling and abusive person. Eventually, if not already you are going to believe you're a nobody, because you hear it so often. Get rid of him. Find somebody who treats you well.

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:22 AM on Oct. 16, 2009

  • What he is doing is called crazymaking. It's a form of abuse. Once he feels he has you trapped in the relationship the abuse will get worse. He will try to control more and more of your life.

    Answer by Gailll at 2:23 AM on Oct. 16, 2009

  • Three of us were writting the same thing at the same time!

    Answer by Gailll at 2:23 AM on Oct. 16, 2009

  • He told me that one will want to be with me cause I have baggage (being a single mom... my son is not his) and that I will turn all guys into the same kind of mean guys like I did to him.

    I am so sad right now.

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:26 AM on Oct. 16, 2009

  • yeah I agree with the above. Get out before something bad happens. He doesnt love you. Thats not love

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:26 AM on Oct. 16, 2009

  • get out now! He is trying to isolate you and make you feel that you have no one but him and make you believe that no one will help you, once that happens he can do whatever he wants and no one will be the wiser. YOU did not make him mean, and being a single mom will not stop men from wanting to get to know you or falling in love with you, get away from this man as fast as you can. This is a very bad situation, please for your sake and that of your son do not believe the crap coming out of this mans mouth ask your friends and your dad for help if need be, tell them what he is saying to you they will listen and help you.

    Answer by 3_ring_circus_ at 2:30 AM on Oct. 16, 2009

  • Thanks to all of you... so much.

    My feelings are so hurt right now... I'm not perfect and I fight back but I dont feel I deserve this... I dont believe him but I am crying because he has said such unloving, hateful things to me about me and the ones I love.

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:36 AM on Oct. 16, 2009

  • I agree with the above ladies, besides there are a lot of single mommas out there that find real men and are happy, not a control freak. Don't pay attention to anything he is saying hurtfull to you cuz it sounds to me that his trying to talk you down only to make himself feel more like a man, a real man don't need to do that.

    Answer by looovemybabies at 3:37 AM on Oct. 16, 2009

  • he may very well love you.l
    but he is insecure and controlling and has to keep you down to ensure you wont leave.

    this is not uncommon.....but it is not true love. he may care or may just be obsessed and cant stand the thought o being alone.

    he is trying it isolate you. that is emotional abuse. he will only get worse without treatment, and even that may never help

    Answer by moki1984 at 5:35 AM on Oct. 16, 2009

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