Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Debt Irrationalities

My situation is this. I have two children (3 and 1) and am preganant with a third. Shortly after getting pregnant (before I even knew) I found out my husband was cheating (again and with the same woman) and I ended the relationship. With this pregnancy I have had real health issues. So much so that I cannot work, but not enough to get aid. My soon to be ex pays all the bills and he is okay with it he says its his form of child support. He is also an irrational man who never understood finances and refuses to get a second job. He makes $600-$800 a month at his job and he also gets veteran aid for school ($900). Total we make anywhere from $1400- $1700 a month. This doesnt cover all expenses. I have been asking for help with debt and the advice I have gotten is to budget (which I do) and to save some money each month. But how do you save when there is not even enough to pay what HAS to be paid?

Answer Question

Asked by NightOwlMama at 7:41 AM on Oct. 16, 2009 in Money & Work

Level 12 (719 Credits)
Answers (6)
  • Also how do you explain to a man who is irrational, why he cannot spend money randomly and pay the bills? He wants to save money when we havent paid all the bills this month, our girls need winter clothes (all they have are summer) and we have debtors calling constently bc we cannot even make payments. I have tried supplementing with charities and even that doesnt solve the issue. I dont know what to do bc I cannot get a job myself at this point and we are struggling to have the basics. We dont have toilet paper right now and havent done laundry since february bc he doesnt see that as a "neccesity". I am having trouble even keeping the house sanitary bc there is such an overflow with nothing being gotten. No cleaning supplies etc, no money to even get them. Any suggestions?

    Answer by NightOwlMama at 7:46 AM on Oct. 16, 2009

  • We basically live to pay bills. It stinks. We're so close to catching up on some I can smell it, but we fall just shy every month. We cannot catch up unless we purposely don't pay someone, which we then owe double for the next motnh which is nie on impossible so we end up stayyin gbehind forever. We never have extra to set aside and it scary. Because eventually we're going to have an emergency or car repairs, something outside the budget and have no cushion money to pay for it and be forced to skip a bill to do it.

    I'd try to get a part time job, but its hard right now. I can relate.

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:08 AM on Oct. 16, 2009

  • If you totally break it off with your soon to be EX. That include money. You should be able to get PA.

    Answer by louise2 at 8:13 AM on Oct. 16, 2009

  • If you totally break it off with your soon to be EX. That include money. You should be able to get PA.

    Do this.

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:35 AM on Oct. 16, 2009

  • I'm a stay at home mom with two boys. I work with a great group of moms, we work with each other to help each other reach our goals. There's no experecne needed and you can work from home. If your interested in it you can contact me at me website.

    hope things go better for you.

    Answer by Tigeress444 at 10:37 AM on Oct. 16, 2009

  • If PA is welfare, then the problem with that is that welfare pays less than he makes. Way less. So that would cause further issues. Plus they demand a statement from him to pay child support which he wont sign bc he is afraid I "am trying to screw him of his rights".

    Answer by NightOwlMama at 5:29 PM on Oct. 16, 2009

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.