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Have you chosen to forgive someone for something you knew was bad, disrepectful unbelievably no matter who that was? A parent, a partner, a friend? I am just wondering the different ways people forgive based on what happened to them.

If you forgave someone did that stop the relationship or were you and that person back to the way it was before the disrespect, what ever it was?

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Asked by Anonymous at 10:06 AM on Oct. 16, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (8)
  • i do have to forgive to move on. nothing is ever the same as it was/ that doesnt make it bad, you should learn and change from the experience (both people) --- there is an ani difranco quote that comes to mind .... sometimes you have to see the grandness of the man behind the petty crimes and let him off easy sometimes.... i think for you to forgive you need the person toreally know they were in the wrong and repent the badness to begin to forgive. without that i dont know that it is possible for me.

    Answer by AmaliaD at 10:13 AM on Oct. 16, 2009

  • I forgive only because it is unhealthy to carry a grudge, but normally the relationship goes cold, and it is never quite the same.

    Answer by older at 10:18 AM on Oct. 16, 2009

  • I have forgiven my dh many times over the yrs for various things, some bigger than others, and we move on, stronger than we were. He's also forgiven me many times in the same way.

    I've forgiven friends and we've gone on still good friends.

    I've also forgiven people, but NOT had a relationship with them afterward - my father who walked out on me, stepfathers who abused me, a grandfather who molested me.

    I've forgiven for my own sake, not for theirs. But, for me, I think where the relationship goes afterward really depends on whether the pain they inflicted was intentional or not, and also on how remorseful they were for their actions, and what they did to prevent a repeat of whatever it was.

    Answer by sailorwifenmom at 10:23 AM on Oct. 16, 2009

  • Its always better to forgive, than leave a grudge. But just because you forgive, doesnt mean you can forget. My hubby and I had arguments, but in the end we always forgive one another. But I would not be able to forgive something like cheating. But when it comes to friends, depends what they have done.

    Answer by hazeleyezmommy at 10:30 AM on Oct. 16, 2009

  • When my son was 18 he decided to go live with his father. It broke my heart. The judge didn't order visitation and his stepmother forbad him from seeing me and his brothers. Who would have thought he couldn't see us?

    Child support changed and I had to file bankruptcy. I would have kept getting child support until he was 21. I couldn't see him abount Christmas even though he called and said he wanted to come see us. I wasn't invited to graduation. I wasn't consulted about college plans.

    We now call it his 'period of temporary insanity'. He wanted his father to love him and he thought that was the way to do it. It didn't work. He made stupid college choices and ended up dropping out and selling drugs.

    We moved to where he was living and took him back in. Of course I couldn't get the child support I would have been getting. The one we never forgave was the stepmom. She's dead now. She died of heart failue in her kitchen

    Answer by Gailll at 10:31 AM on Oct. 16, 2009

  • Forgiven them, yes. Continued a disrespectful relationship, no

    Answer by admckenzie at 12:44 PM on Oct. 16, 2009

  • admckenzie said it best

    Answer by worriedmommy600 at 3:20 PM on Oct. 16, 2009

  • I recently forgave an old boyfriend who treated me terribly. Things between us ended badly, because of him. That was 17 yrs ago. I must admit it makes it easier knowing he's twice divorced and his first wife treated him terribly, like how he treated me. (Karma bit him in the ASS!) But it's hard. I try to keep the "ill will" away, but it comes back. Like another poster said, the relationship isn't the same.

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:44 AM on Oct. 17, 2009

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