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what do you do when the father of ur unborn child decides he wants to come back after totally abandoning youand your child while u r pregnant and all alone???

i have a child frommy first boyfirend and i was with this guys for a while and i wasliving withhim after a small discussion he got very vile and kicked me and my son out while i was pregnant i had no money no car or anythign his aunt had to pay for usto fly home due to no place to go. what would you do?

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 5:26 PM on Jun. 18, 2008 in Relationships

Answers (8)
  • I would tell him no, that he didnt want to have anything to do with the baby in the beginning and has no right to enter his life now!
    PrncessKathleen

    Answer by PrncessKathleen at 5:27 PM on Jun. 18, 2008

  • There is no straight way to go. I know two people that had this very similar thing happen. They both tried to take the men back, one took time but worked out, one was on and off forever, but never seems to work. Either way, both men (to me) kinda seem like they only create drama. Here is the thing: if you love someone, perhaps it can work, but just because you have a child with someone does not mean you should be with them. Ask yourself a few questions: can you ever truly forgive him? can you ever trust him again? do you really love him? and finally, what is BEST for your child? Only you will know the true answer. But be careful, you might tempt yourself over what is easiest. Some men are just assholes in sheeps clothing. Remember that.
    NomadSara

    Answer by NomadSara at 5:30 PM on Jun. 18, 2008

  • I'd say he could maybe have something to do with the child if he payed child support but no way in heck would I take him back.
    angelachristine

    Answer by angelachristine at 5:36 PM on Jun. 18, 2008

  • I have a friend who is going through the same thing right now. Fight for your son if it becomes a custody battle. If he left before, what's to say he won't leave again. A child needs stability and it will hurt him more than anything to have a dad popping in and out of his life when it's convenient for him.
    bretsnag

    Answer by bretsnag at 5:45 PM on Jun. 18, 2008

  • i would make sure you ahve a legal visitation agreement made adnd allow him to be a dad if he really wants to but, you need to tell him to bug off as far as relationships go
    tiffanismommica

    Answer by tiffanismommica at 5:59 PM on Jun. 18, 2008

  • I think only you can answer this. I will say that "actions speak louder than words" and I do think that if you want to be with him, that he should earn you back. Don't give yourself away too quickly because he said something. As for the child - that is a separate issue. Your baby deserves to know his/her father and whether or not you will take him back, you will parent with him for years to come. If you need help with custody questions, feel free to PM me!
    sjmookie

    Answer by sjmookie at 6:57 PM on Jun. 18, 2008

  • ONLY YOU CAN ANSWER THIS,IF YOU WANT HIM BACK FORGIVE HIM AND TRY TO WORK IT OUT FOR THE GOOD,IF NO TELL HIM NO BUT DON'T TAKE HIM BACK IF YOU SAY YOU FOR GIVE HIM AND THEN THROW IT UP IN HIS FACE,I'M NOT TAKING HIS SIDE I'M JUST SAYING MAYBE HE REALIZES HE MADE A MISTAKE AND IS TRYING WE ALL MAKE THEM YOU KNOW! GOOOD LUCK AND CONGRATULATIONS!
    kimsboys

    Answer by kimsboys at 5:48 PM on Jul. 2, 2008

  • i was in this spot all most 2 years ago and i went back to him twice the 2nd time he kicked me and the born child out and moved someone else in
    singlemom1226

    Answer by singlemom1226 at 10:50 PM on Aug. 19, 2008

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