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Temporary custody to my sister.

I'm going through a hardship and in search of employment. I'm a mom and I need to create stability for my children first. My sister has offered to care for my children while I find work and live in a shelter. I will pay her from the childsupport I receive. The father is non-custodial. I have full custody AND the father only sees the children every other weekend. He has two jobs and can never do anything more. He has an apt but stays with his gf while paying rent on his apt. This is to paint a pic of what I'm dealing with here.

What's the criteria for giving temporary custody to my sister? Is it a difficult process? Will the father have any pull in this decision? thank you. I know to go to court to begin this petition.

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 10:51 AM on Oct. 16, 2009 in General Parenting

Answers (16)
  • Im sorry you are going thru all of this. Do you have to actually sign temp custody to your sister..is this for a month or so? Can your kids just stay there and you sign something t the school that she can pick up the kids? medical release forms? seems this would all be cheaper. ..just curious. Also wondering if you have any other issues like alcohol recovery or drugs....why is sis letting you stay in shelter instead of at her house with your kids? Im glad you are putting your kids first, just wondering how temp this is and if you really need to go thru all of that for a short tiem while you get on your feet. I hope you find a job soon!! My heart goes out to you.
    ria7

    Answer by ria7 at 11:04 AM on Oct. 16, 2009

  • I had to give temp. Guardianship to my mother a few years back and yes my ex had to sign. One of you will have to get a lawyer to draw up the papers. If I were you, I would put a time limit on it. Have the papers say that she only gets custody for say, 6 months. I had the lawyer draw up the papers and he asked me to do this but I refused because I didn't know how long I would need to leave my children with my mother. It bit me in the butt because I then had to fight for custody back when my mother did not want me to take them back.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:06 AM on Oct. 16, 2009

  • Could you live with your sister as well? It would seem to make the most sense not having you away from your kiddos. Have you tried calling Catholic Charities? You also didn't say how old your kids are, but I just saw an add looking for a companion to live with an older lady to help her out, maybe you could come up with something like that or another Mom in a similar situation? I would just worry with the divorce and now not having you the effect it could have--that being said shelters take women with children over women who have placed them. You must go through CPS and the courts to do this, I hope you don't have to and I am really sorry you are going through this! Do you have and drug or drinking issues? Please don't be angry for me asking, I was just curious, as this would affect the possiblity of you regaining custody after you give them to your sister, good luck and God bless you!
    kimigogo

    Answer by kimigogo at 11:07 AM on Oct. 16, 2009

  • I dont think you can give custody to your sister. It probably has to go to the father first. cant you live with your sister? Or ask the dad to take over for a little while.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:09 AM on Oct. 16, 2009

  • My son is 7 and daughter is 1. The father works two jobs and has never, in all 7 yrs, done anything more than paid c/s and visited on every other wknd. He makes time for his g/f's though. Believe that. I've never smoked or did drugs but was in an abusive relationship with hubby until I left nearly 2 yrs ago. Was in dv shelter and has been tech. homeless for two years. Fathers sis and parents are NO help. They don't even call once a yr. I don't need to live with sis, in fact she put me out some weeks ago but now that she sees I can't stay where I'm at now, she's offering help to the children. I'm heart-broken. My last 2 yrs of life has been sad for me b/c of my children. I can fight any fight, but I'm tired of my children going thru this with me. They need stability and with them in my sis care, they'll have that, along with food, clothing and love. I provide for my children no matter what. I love them greatly!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:19 AM on Oct. 16, 2009

  • You need a power of attorney stating she is allowed to make medical decisions and is responsible for the children for the given period of time. My mother used them for when my cousins would visit for the summer, a family law attorney can help you or you can write out your own and have a notary sign it for you...it gave her the right to act in an emergency, but you should not give custody to your sister even just temporary--and the dad will have to sign off on it.
    bumblebeestingu

    Answer by bumblebeestingu at 11:21 AM on Oct. 16, 2009

  • I t will vary State to State. Call your local Justice Department and they will put you through to who you need to speak with. Here you have to actually go to court and pay court fees. Both Parents and the gauridan in question would have to attend. A home visit would be required fro the guardian to be.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:24 AM on Oct. 16, 2009

  • Oh sweetie, just read the rest of your post, yes I agree not to give the children to an abusive man, but if your sis put you out, do you think that is the best choice? Did you see anything else I wrote about? Are you able to work? Please call Catholic Charities, and they can help you, welfare food stamps and section 8 should be available to you as well, if you live in Missouri you can stay with me!
    kimigogo

    Answer by kimigogo at 11:29 AM on Oct. 16, 2009

  • If you are going to sign over temp custody to her, make sure you cover all points. I was in the same situation as you, my cousin offered to take care of my son while I got my act together. I signed over temp custody to her so she could make medical decisions and get him into daycare and other stuff like that. When it was time for him to come home, she put up a fight and didn't want to give him back on my terms, she wanted it on her terms. I'm lucky I had my sister and my mom to help (they weren't able to take him for me before, my sis had her own kids and my mom wasn't able to care for him) but they were there when it was time to get him back. Luckily, she gave him back and now everything is ok but it was scary at the time thinking she might have fought harder to keep him.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:40 AM on Oct. 16, 2009

  • I was thinking a simple notarized letter would do btwn the two of us. Not sure why the father would have to sign...he's practically invisible and very little help hands on. What an inconvenience b/c I know he won't sign it. I applied for section 8 and was denied b/c they wanted a copy of the fathers marriage cert to ensure that he wouldn't live with me, but he chose not to give it...stating it was private. Mind you, he married in the courthouse. I didn't know that at the time or I would've gone to the court myself to obtain it.
    I will definitely call cath. char, as I'm also trying to seek free legal aid for advice. I'm so consumed. Don't know what to do. I can't think why me, b/c I know why not me. Made some bad choices, gotta live with them. Just having my children bounce here and there is so crazy. I don't live in Missouri, but thank you so much. My sis is nt a bad person, doesn't drink, smoke, abuse or (contd
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:48 AM on Oct. 16, 2009

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